“I’m going to put a stop to this nonsense. Even if it takes two thousand years.” New York, October 28 – A leading figure in the movement to impose a cultural boycott on Israel expressed shock and anger today that ...
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Feed SubscriptionTel Aviv To Build Wall To Keep Out Separation Barrier Advocates
“We will shield ourselves from the mentality that walling ourselves off from trouble somehow solves the problem.” Tel Aviv, October 22 – Perturbed that many people who accept separation barriers as a valid approach to address problems enter Tel Aviv ...
Read More »To Go With Palestinian Child Livers, Bistro Offers Fava Beans, Chianti
Hannibal introduced delicacies such as Tongue à la Nurse, acting with such casualness that her pulse likely never got above 85 in the process. Tel Aviv, October 18 – At Lecter, an upscale restaurant in downtown Tel Aviv, the wine list ...
Read More »Batman To Visit Israel To Learn Combat With Umbrellas, Selfie Sticks
Experts say acquiring combat skills with an umbrella, in particular, would constitute a poetic achievement of sorts for Batman, one of whose arch-nemeses is the umbrella-wielding Penguin. Gotham City, October 14 – The vigilante crime fighter of this troubled municipality ...
Read More »E. Jerusalem Cutco Salesman Can’t Believe His Good Timing
“I’m not surprised the Tel Aviv attack resulted in only light injuries to the four victims. That’s basically what you get when you settle for an inferior product.” Jerusalem, October 8 – Jamal Masri, 21, is effusive in describing his ...
Read More »Cumin Rights Watch Says Israel Treating Activists As Spice
Israel has mustard significant personnel for this purpose. Basil, Switzerland, October 8 – Executive Director of Cumin Rights Watch Fennel Roth told reporters today that Israel is treating his oreganozation’s personnel as spice, and illegally restricting their movemint. Roth called a ...
Read More »Ancient Mosaic Reveals Byzantines Were Made Of Tile, Mortar
“Why did they disappear as suddenly as they appeared in history? These are all tantalizing, mystifying issues.” Kiryat Malachi, September 30 – Archaeologists studying a newly discovered mosaic in this southern town expressed satisfaction at the level of detail preserved ...
Read More »Israel Officially Apologizes For Producing Uri Geller
Ministry spokeswoman Loma Amin said that on behalf of the people of Israel, the government apologizes to the world both for producing and tolerating such a fraud, and for taking this long to acknowledge it. Jerusalem, September 20 – Saying ...
Read More »Bin Laden Blending In Seamlessly In Bnei Brak
Saddam Hussein is similarly living unmolested in the area. Bnei Brak, September 10 – Four years after his death was faked at a villa in Pakistan, 9/11 mastermind Osama Bin Laden has made a smooth transition to the lifestyle of a ...
Read More »Haaretz To Boycott Israeli Advertisers
Haaretz’s new policy will take effect on the first day of October to avoid the complications of advertising packages already sold to Israeli companies and organizations. Tel Aviv, September 6 – The editorial board at Israel’s Haaretz daily voted this ...
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