Tzfat, Israel August 13 – A local receptionist is facing suspicions of sorcery today because she managed to put her flash drive in a computer’s USB port without having to turn it over because it was facing the wrong way. ...
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Feed SubscriptionBan On Flights To Israel Renewed Until People Stop Clapping At Landing
Washington, DC, August 8 – The US is once again using its influence in air travel to modify the way Israelis behave, this time directly addressing the need travelers seem to have to applaud upon landing in Israel. When the ...
Read More »HaZorfim To Supply Silver Platter On Which To Hand Hamas Victory
Kfar Daniel, Israel, August 2 – One of the country’s most venerable silversmith establishments has been awarded the contract to produce the tremendous silver platter on which to hand Hamas the victory in the current round of violence. The Prime ...
Read More »Man Unsure Whether Missile Siren Interrupted Lather, Rinse, Or Repeat
Ra’anana, Israel, July 26 – A local resident who was forced to rush to his home’s safe room while in the middle of his shower cannot remember where in his shampooing cycle he was when the missile alert siren sounded, ...
Read More »Israel Fears Giant Ant Invasion After Huge Tunnels Discovered Near Gaza
Kibbutz Nir Am, Israel, July 21 – Members of this agricultural community near the border with the Gaza Strip are troubled by the discovery of several large tunnels in the area, concerned that the tunnels indicate the presence of tremendous ...
Read More »Hamas Rockets Leave Leftists Buried Under Collapsed Ideology
North Tel Aviv, July 16 – While Hamas rocket-launch teams in Gaza continue their so-far-unsuccessful attempt to sow widespread death and destruction among the Israeli civilian population, the Home Front Command today reported a sharp increase in referrals of leftist Israelis for ...
Read More »Israel Electric Co. To Power Region From Herzl Spinning In Grave
Haifa, July 11 – Israel’s national electric utility plans to continue its transition away from coal-fired power plants by harnessing the kinetic energy of modern Zionism’s founder rotating in his grave, the Ministry of Environmental Protection announced today. The Israel ...
Read More »Ynet Considers Replacing Bikini Photos With Actual News
Tel Aviv, July 8 – Editors at the popular Israeli website Ynet are toying with the notion of giving their readers news stories beyond celebrity gossip and the latest photos of attractive public figures in swimsuits. With tensions mounting between ...
Read More »Hundreds Injured Jumping To Conclusions About Murder Of Arab Teen
Jerusalem, July 3 – More than 800 commentators, politicians, and other public figures needed medical treatment yesterday when they suffered various injuries incurred while jumping to conclusions over the abduction and murder of Muhammad Abu Khdeir, 16, whose body was found ...
Read More »Israel Philharmonic To Stop Selling Beer After 3rd Movement
Tel Aviv, June 29 – Troubled by unruly attendees in the audience, Heichal Hatarbut, the Tel Aviv home of the Israel Philharmonic, has decided to stop selling alcoholic beverages beyond the third movement of orchestral works of four movements or ...
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