Jerusalem, May 30 – A joint report by the Ministries of Environmental Protection and Agriculture recommends that the government cease enforcement of pesticide limits aimed at protecting aquifers, since the underground water sources have already been depleted. Minister of Agriculture ...
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Feed SubscriptionChinese Buyers Of Tnuva Promise Only ‘Barely Lethal’ Levels Of Melamine In Milk
Ramat HaSharon, May 25 – Bright Foods, the Chinese conglomerate that purchased a controlling stake in Tnuva last week, is trying to reassure Israeli consumers that drinking melamine-contaminated milk will not usually be lethal. Bright Foods completed the purchase of ...
Read More »Condom Manufacturers Lament Declining Birthright Participation
Jerusalem, May 18 – The makers of latex prophylactics are warily eyeing the downward trend of Birthright Israel registration, as the thinning ranks of those Jewish young adults who have never been on an organized tour of Israel are reflected ...
Read More »Scientists Find Downtown Jerusalem Establishment That Is Not A Coffee Shop
Jerusalem, May 15 – An exhaustive search of retail outlets in Jerusalem’s city center has revealed that there exists one that is not a hoity-toity cafe, researchers from the Hebrew University announced today. Researchers scoured a 400-meter radius of the ...
Read More »Nature Reserves To Be Preemptively Converted To Landfills
Jerusalem, May 8 – Israel’s Ministry of the Environment announced today that to avoid expensive and time-consuming cleanup costs from throngs of visitors, the Nature and Parks Authority would transform most of the country’s green spaces outright into garbage dumps. ...
Read More »Haredim Expected To Excel At Black-Hat SEO
Hertzeliya, Israel, April 30 – When Google opened its first research and development center in Israel in 2006, company executives were focused more on the quality and quantity of available personnel for the development of new initiatives, but the ensuing ...
Read More »After Mimuna, Ashkenazim Allowed To Hate Sephardim Again
Jerusalem, April 23 – The end of a post-Passover holiday celebrating North African Jewish culture in Israel means that Jews of northern and eastern European ancestry can go back to openly disdaining Jews of the Orient. Mimuna, a springtime festival ...
Read More »Israeli Startup To Give Hemorrhoids To Spammers
Ramat Gan, Israel, April 6 – Asla Agevah founded Halomot B’aspamia two years a go with the vision of bringing some visceral justice to the world of online marketing, and is now very close to launching the company’s first product: ...
Read More »Olmert Convictions Means Now He Actually Has Some
Tel Aviv, March 31 – Tel Aviv Disctrict Court Magistrate David Rosen pronounced former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert guilty on corruption charges today, finally supplying Olmert with at least one conviction, something he had lacked in his previous 68 years. ...
Read More »Vandals Aim To Solve Regional Conflict By Slashing Tires
Jerusalem, March 25 – A group of as-yet-unidentified Jewish youths from the northern section of the city hopes to put an end to the centuries-old friction over land and politics in the Holy Land by vandalizing the vehicles of non-Jews. ...
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