Jerusalem, May 15 – An exhaustive search of retail outlets in Jerusalem’s city center has revealed that there exists one that is not a hoity-toity cafe, researchers from the Hebrew University announced today. Researchers scoured a 400-meter radius of the ...
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Feed SubscriptionNature Reserves To Be Preemptively Converted To Landfills
Jerusalem, May 8 – Israel’s Ministry of the Environment announced today that to avoid expensive and time-consuming cleanup costs from throngs of visitors, the Nature and Parks Authority would transform most of the country’s green spaces outright into garbage dumps. ...
Read More »Haredim Expected To Excel At Black-Hat SEO
Hertzeliya, Israel, April 30 – When Google opened its first research and development center in Israel in 2006, company executives were focused more on the quality and quantity of available personnel for the development of new initiatives, but the ensuing ...
Read More »After Mimuna, Ashkenazim Allowed To Hate Sephardim Again
Jerusalem, April 23 – The end of a post-Passover holiday celebrating North African Jewish culture in Israel means that Jews of northern and eastern European ancestry can go back to openly disdaining Jews of the Orient. Mimuna, a springtime festival ...
Read More »Israeli Startup To Give Hemorrhoids To Spammers
Ramat Gan, Israel, April 6 – Asla Agevah founded Halomot B’aspamia two years a go with the vision of bringing some visceral justice to the world of online marketing, and is now very close to launching the company’s first product: ...
Read More »Olmert Convictions Means Now He Actually Has Some
Tel Aviv, March 31 – Tel Aviv Disctrict Court Magistrate David Rosen pronounced former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert guilty on corruption charges today, finally supplying Olmert with at least one conviction, something he had lacked in his previous 68 years. ...
Read More »Vandals Aim To Solve Regional Conflict By Slashing Tires
Jerusalem, March 25 – A group of as-yet-unidentified Jewish youths from the northern section of the city hopes to put an end to the centuries-old friction over land and politics in the Holy Land by vandalizing the vehicles of non-Jews. ...
Read More »Banks To Charge Less For Letting You Use Your Own Damn Money
Tel Aviv, March 19 – Bank HaPoalim became the first Israeli bank to release its government-mandated fee schedule today, announcing three packages for different levels of account activity that will allow Israelis to pay less than they have been paying ...
Read More »Human Rights Watch Hires Michael Bay To Portray Palestinians As Innocent, IDF As Brutal
Los Angeles, March 15 – One of the leading organizations monitoring Israeli treatment of Palestinians has engaged one of Hollywood’s leading directors to contrive confrontations between Palestinian protesters and Israeli troops in order to portray the troops as brutal to ...
Read More »Naïve Israel Advocates Think New Genetic Study Will Silence Rabid Foes
Jerusalem, February 25 – Supporters of Israel who have been living under a rock for the last hundred years expect that a study debunking an earlier claim – that Ashkenazi Jews were not genetically linked to the ancient Jewish inhabitants ...
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