Tel Aviv, March 19 – Bank HaPoalim became the first Israeli bank to release its government-mandated fee schedule today, announcing three packages for different levels of account activity that will allow Israelis to pay less than they have been paying ...
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Feed SubscriptionHuman Rights Watch Hires Michael Bay To Portray Palestinians As Innocent, IDF As Brutal
Los Angeles, March 15 – One of the leading organizations monitoring Israeli treatment of Palestinians has engaged one of Hollywood’s leading directors to contrive confrontations between Palestinian protesters and Israeli troops in order to portray the troops as brutal to ...
Read More »Naïve Israel Advocates Think New Genetic Study Will Silence Rabid Foes
Jerusalem, February 25 – Supporters of Israel who have been living under a rock for the last hundred years expect that a study debunking an earlier claim – that Ashkenazi Jews were not genetically linked to the ancient Jewish inhabitants ...
Read More »Canaanites Deny Being Forebears Of Palestinians
Hatzor, Israel, February 17 – After several prominent Palestinians asserted that they were descended from the ancient Canaanites, leaders of the Canaanite city-states emphatically ruled out the notion that their descendants were modern-day Palestinians. Amirapu I of Ugarit and Yavin ...
Read More »Honest BDS Activist Lives Off Grid, Forages, Avoids Medicine
Somewhere near Beach Lake, Pennsylvania, February 15 – Oscar Thorpe is a rare specimen indeed: a political activist who completely practices what he preaches. In his case, his adherence to the Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions movement against Israel has led ...
Read More »Israelis Disappointed That Gaily Costumed Athletes Sliding Along The Ice Failed To Provide International Legitimacy
Sochi, Russia, February 13 – Israelis face the crushing prospect today of confronting a world that denies them the respect and legitimacy that they could have had, if only a man and woman in designer leotards had performed better as ...
Read More »Histadrut To Striking Hadassah MDs: It Was OUR Turn To Go On Strike
Jerusalem, February 12 – The tension surrounding the Hadassah Hospital debt crisis increased today when the country largest labor union accused striking hospital personnel of picketing out of turn when it was supposed to be the union’s turn to disrupt ...
Read More »Man Hoping To Rid Palestine of Jews Calls Israel ‘Racist’
Munich, Germany, February 6 – The chief Palestinian negotiator in talks with Israel has asked the world to “punish” the Jewish state for its racism, as he pursues the formation of a state next door in which Jews will not ...
Read More »Israeli Theorists Posit Cheeses Other Than “Yellow,” “White”
Rechovot, Israel, February 3 – Scientists at the Weizmann Institute of Science have promulgated a theory that is sending ripples through the Israeli dairy industry: that it is possible to manufacture a spreadable cheese that is not “White Cheese,” and ...
Read More »Security Council Demands Israel Stop Being So Goddamn Moral
New York, February 2 – The United Nations Security Council endorsed a statement this morning calling on Israel to stop providing medical treatment to wounded Syrians, saying that the practice conflicts with the negative portrayal of Israel the body wishes ...
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