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Jerusalem To Shoot Dog Owners Who Fail To Clean Up

Jerusalem To Shoot Dog Owners Who Fail To Clean Up

Jerusalem, January 30 – Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat has announced that he is empowering municipal workers and concerned citizens to shoot the owners of dogs that leave excrement on the ground and neglect to clean it up within minutes. Barkat ...

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It’s Not Palestine Unless It’s Judenrein

By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority President Binyamin Netanyahu has once again raised a non-starter of an idea: let the Israeli settlers remain in their settlements after the land is transferred to the emerging state of Palestine. Of course we Palestinians ...

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Agency Surprised By Backlash Against Ads Mocking Fat Kids

Agency Surprised By Backlash Against Ads Mocking Fat Kids

Tel Aviv (AP) – Publicity firm JCDecaux was taken aback by the completely unforeseen reaction to an advertising campaign that distorted the images of children to make them look excessively overweight. The company found itself unexpectedly on the defensive after ...

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Race To Politicize Pope’s Mideast Visit Begins

Race To Politicize Pope’s Mideast Visit Begins

Jerusalem (AP) – Pope Francis announced yesterday that he would be visiting the Holy Land in May of this year, setting off a scramble among Israelis and Palestinians to score propaganda points in their ongoing conflict and to leverage the ...

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Media Outlets Rush To Update Pending Sharon Obituaries

New York (AP) – A rapid deterioration of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s condition has journalists scrambling to update their files in case the publication of an obituary becomes necessary in the coming hours or days. Sharon, 85, suffered ...

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City To Proudly Inaugurate 3 New Deadly Intersections

City To Proudly Inaugurate 3 New Deadly Intersections

Jerusalem, January 1 – Cutting through the maze of alleys and narrow, one-way streets in the historic neighborhood of Nachlaot is Betzalel Street, where a twice-daily ritual takes place during rush hour as drivers routinely imperil pedestrians by barreling through ...

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