Palestinians as their leaders’ sacrificial victims to various money-making schemes, anti-Israel propaganda drives, and political maneuvering. Jericho, Palestinian Territories, January 25 – The continuing shuttered state of a gambling house in this ancient city for more than two decades has ...
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Feed SubscriptionUNWRA To Lexicographers: Add Infinite Descendants To Definition Of ‘Refugee’
The UN has an entire other organization for resettling and caring for refugees as such, and almost none of the Palestine Refugees qualify under the standard definition of ‘refugee.’ Geneva, January 14 – An international organization mandated to see to ...
Read More »Palestinians Hoping Biden Will Remind Jews Not To Be So Goddamn Sovereign
“If the Jews of Israel want to live a normal existence, they have to forfeit the security that everyone needs in order to live a normal existence.” Ramallah, January 5 – The upcoming inauguration of the next American president has ...
Read More »Isolated Iran Encourages April 1945 Hitler: ‘You Have Them Right Where You Want Them’
“Soon you will bring down the hammer that crushes the enemy and energizes the citizens and soldiers of the Reich to restore the glory it has too long been denied.” Tehran, December 24 – High-ranking officials of the Islamic Republic ...
Read More »Palestinian Scholars: Fried Hanukkah Foods An Insult To Oil-Based Arab Economies
Zionist behavior must a priori be categorized as evil. Ramallah, December 16 – Anti-Israel propagandists hoping to attenuate the recent wave of normalization between Israel and various Muslim states in the region seized on a new idea this week to try ...
Read More »Palestinians Insist Original Mysterious Monolith Theirs But Jews Stole It
“Yet another instance of Zionists usurping our national heritage.” Ramallah, December 7 – The bizarre story of a series of metallic standing stones that appear and then disappear in various places around the world – first in Utah, then California, ...
Read More »Saudi Arabia, UAE, Bahrain Denounce Israel’s Ties With ‘Racist, Islamophobic’ Europe, US
“The soft bigotry of low expectations that Muslims face in Europe, the US, and the West in general is not something we want to encourage.” Riyadh, November 26 – Persian Gulf states in the process of rapprochement with the Jewish ...
Read More »IDF Blaming Gaza Rocket Launch On Lightning Makes Assad Slap Head, Wonder Why He Didn’t Think Of It To Explain 500K Dead
“Can Gaza be the only place in the world where lightning triggers military equipment? That wouldn’t make sense.” Damascus, Nov 17 – The President of the Syrian Arab Republic smacked himself on the forehead today following receipt of a report ...
Read More »Despite Industry’s Failures In 2016, 2020, Abbas Trusts Polls Showing He Better Not Call Elections Ever
“The will of the people is dangerous to our careers.” Ramallah, November 5 – The President of the Palestinian Authority believes public opinion surveys showing the deep unpopularity of him personally and of his governing faction among Palestinians, even though ...
Read More »Mideasterners Relieved Not To Have Elections In Which Russia Can Interfere
“Those Zionists can keep their democracy. I’m still going to bash them for depriving Palestinians of democracy, though.” Cairo, October 28 – Citizens and residents of numerous states in the Levant and beyond voiced a sense of having dodged a ...
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