“Hey, that’s not fair,” objected Muhammad Chalabi, 45, a father of six originally from a Damascus suburb. “I don’t want to rebuild my life.” Near the border with southern Syria, Jordan, November 9 – Former residents of Syria who fled ...
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Feed SubscriptionTheorists Struggle To Posit Israeli Move Not Deemed Blow To Peace Process
“We will continue our work,” one scientist was quoted as saying. “But so far the results have proved disappointing.” Stanford, November 1 – Scientists testing the principles of theoretical physics have so far been unable to create hypothetical situations in ...
Read More »PayPal In Hot Water After Offering ISIS ‘Credit Decision In Seconds’
Terrorists’ inboxes must be safeguarded from the crap that accumulates in everyone else’s. Washington, October 29 – Online transaction giant PayPal found itself in legal trouble this week after federal authorities noticed that the company’s constant, ubiquitous, unceasing flood of ...
Read More »Artifact Looters In Iraq, Syria Sore That British Museum Took Good Stuff First
Under Queen Victoria, British archaeologists and adventurers scoured the world for treasures and shipped them back home, where they now take pride of place at London exhibits. Baghdad, October 24 – Black-market operatives in the archaeological field hoping to score ...
Read More »Allies Regret Cannot Screw Over Kurds As Deeply As They Did Europe’s Jews
“That’s a shame. We like to think big.” Washington, October 19 – Diplomats in Washington, London, Paris, and other capitals voiced disappointment this week that despite betraying Kurds and insisting they not pursue sovereignty after years of indispensable Kurdish help ...
Read More »Poll Confirms 90% Of E. Jerusalem Arabs Prefer Waterboarding To Palestinian Rule
Prisoners undergoing torture in Palestinian Authority jails were unavailable for comment. Jerusalem, October 8 – A new survey of Arab residents of the contested city of Jerusalem indicates that not only do they wish to remain under Israeli sovereignty, rather ...
Read More »Non-Arab Iran Willing To Fight Israel, West To Last Arab
Experts cited the episodic wars between Iran-backed militant groups and Israel, in which thousands of Arabs, i.e. not people from Iran, have been killed. Tehran, September 28 – Iranian officials, presiding over a nation of non-Arabs, restated today their determination ...
Read More »Report: Competent Kurdish State Will Cause Instability, Palestinian Terror State Just Fine
The Middle East isn’t used to competent administration; it would be irresponsible to introduce such a thing. Mosul, September 24 – Analysts from a cadre of nations and entities monitoring the fluid, chaotic situation in the Middle East have concluded ...
Read More »With Jewish Population Gone, Syria Boasts 0 Antisemitic Incidents
The Syrian approach is scalable to the entire region. Damascus, September 13 – Officials of President Basher Assad’s regime boasted today that prejudice-monitoring agencies in the country had recorded no verbal or physical assaults against Jews in the last 12 ...
Read More »Saudi Discovers BVD Wife-Beaters Ineffective, Demands Refund
Observers note that Foreet could accept responsibility for the misunderstanding and undertake to exercise greater care in selecting products for purchase, but such a course of action would require violation of at least two taboos. Balagan, Saudi Arabia, September 11 ...
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