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Hamas To End Candy Celebration Of Dead Jews, Citing Diabetes

Hamas To End Candy Celebration Of Dead Jews, Citing Diabetes

Gaza City, November 24 – The Palestinian government today ordered Palestinians to cease distributing sweets when terrorists kill Jews, saying that the practice puts Gaza’s population at greater risk for developing diabetes. The Ministry of Health released new guidelines today following the ...

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Coveted Refugee Status Bequeathed To Children

Coveted Refugee Status Bequeathed To Children

Yarmouk Refugee Camp, Syria, November 16 – A resident of this embattled neighborhood of Damascus died at the hands of an insurgent sniper this morning, leaving his four children the envy of millions of other refugees worldwide. Whereas the refugees ...

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Amnesty International To Merge With Hamas

Amnesty International To Merge With Hamas

“It’s a natural synergy of goals and talents,” said an AI spokesman. Gaza City, November 5 – One of the world’s most prominent organizations working to raise awareness of human rights violations and political repression will officially join forces with ...

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Holocaust Denier Denies Not Denying Holocaust

Holocaust Denier Denies Not Denying Holocaust

Tehran, October 23 – A senior Iranian official today denied reports that he had failed to deny the Holocaust, attempting to fend off criticism from political rivals intent on denying him support. Maher Shalalhashbaz, a regional governor, told reporters he ...

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Iran On Texas Execution Rate: ‘Bloody Amateurs’

Iran On Texas Execution Rate: ‘Bloody Amateurs’

“Wannabe Texas can’t even manage one per week. That would be comical if it weren’t so downright lame.” Tehran, October 16 – Officials in Iran expressed disdain for the supposed cruelty of Texas’s criminal justice system today, calling the Lone ...

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Report: This Beheading Thing Getting Old

Report: This Beheading Thing Getting Old

London, October 4 – The latest instance of the Islamic State’s use of beheading to intimidate the West serves as evidence that the technique no longer carries the novelty it once did, news outlets reported this weekend, and in fact ...

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