Ramallah, May 31 – On the eve of an anticipated announcement that the Palestinians have officially established a unity government between the Fatah and Hamas factions, Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas shifted the focus to Israel, accusing the Jewish state ...
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Feed SubscriptionPope Almost Finished With Checklist Of Parties To Offend On Mideast Trip
Jerusalem, May 26 – Three days into his historic journey to Israel and the Palestinian territories, aides to Pope Francis report that the pontiff is at or ahead of schedule on his mission to offend as many individuals, groups, and ...
Read More »Armenian Genocide Victims Ask What Palestinians Have Been Smoking
Istanbul, May 21 – Armenians mass-murdered by Turks during and immediately following the First World War are expressing disgust and shock at Palestinian claims that Israel targets them for genocide, and wonder what controlled substances the Palestinians have been ingesting ...
Read More »ADL Now Swamped By ‘Arabs Are Semitic So They Can’t Be Anti-Semitic’ Comments
New York, May 15 – In the wake of a global survey measuring the prevalence of antisemitism in various countries and regions, the Anti-Defamation League faces a deluge of nitwits questioning the report’s conclusion based on an erroneous understanding of ...
Read More »Egypt Sets Limits On News Items Not Involving Conspiracy Theories
Egypt’s government issued new guidelines for media outlets today, capping the number of articles not invoking anti-Semitic conspiracy theories. Newspapers, websites, and other news and commentary media will all be subject to the limit. The country’s Protocol Regulation and Order ...
Read More »After “Apartheid” Apology, Kerry Not Sure Why Everything Not All Better Now
Washington, April 29 – After a recording slipped out of US Secretary of State John Kerry that Israel risked becoming an “apartheid state” if negotiations with the Palestinians failed, the secretary issued an apology for his choice of words, which ...
Read More »Syria: ‘Almost Done Using Chemical Arms, Then You Can Have Them’
Damascus, April 22 – Syria’s embattled government says it is almost ready to hand over what remains of its chemical weapons stockpile, but it just needs to perpetrate a few more atrocities with them first. Under an agreement with various ...
Read More »Two-State Solution Coffin Now Made Entirely Of Nails
Jerusalem, April 15 – The latest iteration of failed Israeli-Palestinian negotiations means that the metaphorical coffin of the vision of two states for two peoples has had so many nails driven into it that the quantity of wood composing it ...
Read More »With YouTube Banned, Turkish Productivity Soars
Ankara, April 5 – President Erdogan of Turkey ordered access to the video-sharing site YouTube blocked last week, resulting in an unprecedented spike in worker productivity in the country. Following the uploading of conversations onto the site that embarrassed the ...
Read More »Shortage Of ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ Cards Hinders Prisoner Release
Jerusalem, March 30 – The maker of the Get Out Of Jail Free cards necessary to secure the freedom of dozens of Palestinian prisoners incarcerated in Israel has been unable to meet demand for the product, resulting in delays in ...
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