PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Egypt’s government issued new guidelines for media outlets today, capping the number of articles not invoking anti-Semitic conspiracy theories. Newspapers, websites, and other news and commentary media will all be subject to the limit. The country’s Protocol Regulation and Order ...

Washington, April 29 – After a recording slipped out of US Secretary of State John Kerry that Israel risked becoming an “apartheid state” if negotiations with the Palestinians failed, the secretary issued an apology for his choice of words, which ...

Damascus, April 22 – Syria’s embattled government says it is almost ready to hand over what remains of its chemical weapons stockpile, but it just needs to perpetrate a few more atrocities with them first. Under an agreement with various ...

Jerusalem, April 15 – The latest iteration of failed Israeli-Palestinian negotiations means that the metaphorical coffin of the vision of two states for two peoples has had so many nails driven into it that the quantity of wood composing it ...

Ankara, April 5 – President Erdogan of Turkey ordered access to the video-sharing site YouTube blocked last week, resulting in an unprecedented spike in worker productivity in the country. Following the uploading of conversations onto the site that embarrassed the ...

Jerusalem, March 30 – The maker of the Get Out Of Jail Free cards necessary to secure the freedom of dozens of Palestinian prisoners incarcerated in Israel has been unable to meet demand for the product, resulting in delays in ...

Washington, DC, March 26 – Saudi Arabia denied a visa to a Jerusalem Post reporter who was to accompany President Barack Obama on the latter’s upcoming trip, prompting the White House to register its chagrin that it lacked the guts ...

New York, March 20 – The United Nations Security Council reacted coolly to a petition calling for the body to investigate alleged war crimes by the Syrian government and insurgent rebels, saying that the request failed to provide for adequate ...

Jerusalem, March 10 – The Learned Elders of Zion, who exert tight control over international banking, media, commerce, government, entertainment, and politics, are agonizing over their continued inability to conceal their activities from the conspiracy-theory-minded public. Rumors of Jewish control ...

Rafah, Egypt, March 4 – An Egyptian court declared the Hamas organization illegal today, signaling a sudden dawning on the country’s leadership that perhaps sheltering or condoning violent militant movements on one’s soil might not be the wisest course of ...