by Ismail Haniyeh, Hamas political chief Doha, March 31 – Forbes reported last week that our movement has surpassed Hezbollah as the world’s best-funded terrorist organization, with more than a billion dollars moving through our coffers on a per annum ...
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Feed SubscriptionSir, We Cannot Figure Out In Which End Of The Anti-Zionist To Insert The Anal Probe
by Lieutenant Zorb-8, Watch Commander, Galaga-X Scout Vessel 22R, Squadron Blue, Intergalactic Fleet Task Force M Intergalactic Standard Date 14.5.99.008, in orbit around Earth – Captain, our surface team has returned from the planet with several specimens upon which to conduct ...
Read More »‘Don’t Define Islam By A Tiny Violent Minority!’ – A Jew Who Demands You Define Judaism By My Tiny AntiZionist Minority
by Ariel Gold, Code Pink New York, March 10 – Prejudice and discrimination have no place in our society – or in our world. Anyone who defines the hundreds of millions of adherents of Islam – the religion of peace! ...
Read More »We’re Sorry You Don’t Deserve Attention Because Your Occupation Isn’t Done By Jews
by The United Nations Human Rights Council Geneva, March 1 – Bureaucracy moves slowly by nature, but the time has come for us to apologize nevertheless: we, the members of the United Nations Human Rights Council, express our regret that ...
Read More »Apparently Hebrew Has Words Other Than ‘Tikkun Olam’ …?
By Rabbi Andy Kahn New York, February 18 – Today I Learned that the language of most of the Hebrew Bible contains words that are not ‘Tikkun’ and ‘Olam.’ I was Today Years Old when I discovered that. Who knew? ...
Read More »I Hope My Portion Of ‘Palestine Refugee’ Funding Gets Embezzled By Someone Cool
by Gigi Hadid New York, February 3 – My modeling career makes it unnecessary, unwise, and distracting to wade into politics, but now and then I cannot help but express my feelings on the plight of my Palestinian brethren. Chief among ...
Read More »I Think The Other Hamas Fighters Trapped In This Collapsed Tunnel Are Closer Than 2 Meters
by Hussein Halabi, Hamas commando Somewhere underground near the fence between the Gaza Strip and southern Israel, January 21 – Oh God. I think both of my legs are broken. And several ribs. And I can’t feel my left arm. ...
Read More »My Incitement Focuses On Jews, So At Least My Twitter Account Is Safe
by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader, Islamic Republic of Iran Tehran, January 13 – Recent uproar over the harsh response to US President Donald Trump’s lifetime banishment from social media giant Twitter has called attention to the tech company’s alleged ...
Read More »It’s Cute How You Think Agreements Giving Palestinians Self-Governance Will Stop Us From Blasting Israel For Palestinian Misgovernment
by Ken Roth, Director, Human Rights Watch New York, January 4 – It never ceases to amaze and amuse me that people think just because Palestinian leaders signed a binding document accepting responsibility for their own internal affairs covering the ...
Read More »We Palestinians Are The Original, Ancient Holders Of The COVID Vaccine, You Zionist Thieves
by Fawzi Barhoum, Hamas spokesman Gaza City, December 24 – Palestinians continue to suffer the world’s numbness to historic evil, and its frequent participation therein, most blatantly of late as international powers enable the Zionist oppression of this land’s indigenous ...
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