By the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Selma, January 21 – You don’t seem to need the encouragement, but now that my birthday has come around again, so has a boost in the apparent drive you have for taking ...
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Feed SubscriptionI Love How You Think My Interference In Your Elections Could Make Anything Worse
By Vladimir Putin, President, Russian Federation Moscow, January 10 – You Israelis never cease to amuse me. You’re so self-absorbed, so politically-minded, that you think I would direct my intelligence operatives to sow discord and dysfunction ahead of your parliamentary ...
Read More »Why Have Palestinians Been Ethnically Cleansed From ‘The Flintstones’?
By Linda Sarsour, rights activist Brooklyn, January 1 – It’s bad enough that Palestinians in real life have suffered displacement, persecution, and Othering, but when those phenomena extend even to the realm of beloved children’s shows, we know our society ...
Read More »The Whole AirBnB Fiasco Is A Good Pretext For Not Cleaning My House
Outwardly I have to act as if I’m really annoyed. Efrata, December 19 – Don’t tell my wife, but the recent foofaraw over de-listing Jewish-owned short-term rental properties in Judea and Samaria provides just the excuse I need to delay ...
Read More »If Australia Moves Its Embassy To Jerusalem, We’ll Keep Doing The Awful Things That Led Them To Do So
By Saeb Erekat, Palestine Liberation Organization Ramallah, December 12 – The news out of the Australian capital today could not be worse for the righteous Palestinian cause: the government there appears on the verge of approving recognition of Jerusalem as ...
Read More »I’ll Do Your Hanukkah Lighting Ceremony For The Right Price
By Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu Jerusalem, December 3 – That time of year has come again, and I hereby make the same offer as always: in exchange for the right amount of cash, favors, or other benefit accruing to the ...
Read More »My Thanksgiving Dinner Is Not Complete Until I’ve Found At Least Four Ways To Invoke Israeli Apartheid
By Ken Roth, Director, Human Rights Watch New York, November 22 – We human rights activists live a difficult life: our organizations are feted in Geneva, do as we please with no oversight, and enjoy unparalleled international credibility with the ...
Read More »My Genocidal Antisemitism Does Not Necessarily Represent The Views Of My Genocidally Antisemitic Employer
By Yahya Sinwar, Hamas leader Somewhere beneath Shifa Hospital, Gaza City, November 14 – Recent confusion regarding the specific manifestations of murderous hatred that I and my organization espouse has made it necessary to issue the following disclaimer: my expressions ...
Read More »I Boycott Jerusalem Elections, Then Complain The City Ignores Me
By Alhaf Suwij, East Jerusalem resident Ras-a-Amud, Jerusalem, October 31 – Maintaining one’s ideological principles is important. Me, I adhere to my people’s official position that participating in the holy city’s municipal elections normalizes occupation, and therefore all Palestinians must ...
Read More »We Prefer More Subtle Antisemitism At This Institution, Mr. Crabtree
By Professor Albert Bunchwick, Rector Sit down, Mr. Crabtree. We must have a little talk. It has come to the administration’s attention that during your lectures, you have taken to indulgence in some rather distasteful stereotypes about members of the ...
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