PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

By God Decades of Hollywood’s influence on popular culture have perpetuated the misconception that My speaking voice resonates with gravitas, seriousness, and intimidating presence. I confess I appreciate the awe and reverence such a choice of characterization indicates, but in ...

By Schlemazel Goldberg We just had our first rain of the season – into the Sukkah, of course, where it has become traditional to clear out the food, furnishings, and other fragile things at least once per Sukkot holiday in ...

By Jonah the Prophet As a prophet and the son of a prophet, I would be the first to tell you the life of a prophet is no picnic. Even for personalities who crave the limelight and being privy to ...

By Cantor Anthony Weiner The days leading up to Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, always carry a special intensity. As one who leads the services in the synagogue on that solemn day, I am acutely aware of the need ...

By Lex Luthor If there’s one thing a supervillain wants, it’s publicity. The whole thing with the logo, the hairdo, the costume, the sinister name – it’s all to generate hype. Fear, of course, and respect, but sustained public attention ...

By Aiselyu Siffor, proprietor I’ve been in the suicide bomb sales business for years. Business has been, well, booming, and I’ve certainly done well for myself in this line of work, but despite attracting tons of new customers all the time, ...

By the LORD Jeremiah, go forth and call out to the ears of Jerusalem, saying, “Thus saith the LORD: I remember for you the lovingkindness of thy youth, the love of thy newlywed days, when thou followed me in the ...

By Dibbah Zeitoun In agriculture, we live our lives by the seasons. The rhythms of the climate guide us in what activities to pursue: when to irrigate, when to sow, when to plow, what to harvest, and when to cut ...

Lyrics: Jenin-McCartney   It’s been Jihad day’s night And I’ve been hurting kikes and dogs It’s been Jihad day’s night I hear them weeping, sons of hogs But with that heavenly crew Of virgins seventy-two I’m a Shaheed, all right. ...

By Yisraela M’khoar It’s very sweet of you to invite me to come to your demonstration this is week. I really want to come, but I’m sorry, I’m already holding a different rally, so I can’t come that night. Maybe ...