By John Kerry I travel a lot. When a man travels a lot, he’s bound to leave things in various places. Once I left my good razor in Saigon, and a couple of pairs of dress socks in Beijing. I’m ...
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Feed SubscriptionWe’ll Know They’ve Caught The Right Duma Suspects If They’re Jewish
By The British Broadcasting Corporation Our job as one of the world’s most venerable, reputable news organizations is to use our judgement to determine what events our worthy of your attention, and, in the process, to arrive at an assessment ...
Read More »We Have To Stop Blaming One Another And That’s Bibi’s Fault
By MK Michal Rozin, Meretz Esteemed colleagues, fellow Members of Knesset, and Mr. Speaker – thank you for allowing me to speak. Like everyone else who has addressed the plenum today, I’ve come to stress a message of universal brotherhood ...
Read More »Good Thing I Didn’t Kill Cecil The Lion, Or People Would Hate Me
By Basher Assad, President, Republic of Syria The ferocity and swiftness of international opprobrium directed at that Minnesota dentist who killed a protected lion in Africa drives home an important lesson for my stewardship of this country: I’m glad I ...
Read More »Hadrian: Glad We Agree On Erasing Jewish History In Holy Land
By Publius Aeoliua Hadrianus Caesar, Emperor of Rome It is not often that a political and military leader of the mighty Roman empire sees eye to eye with the inhabitants of the barbarous areas beyond the mighty Legions’ reach. But ...
Read More »One Day We Hope To Categorize An IDF Target As Military
By Amnesty International We human rights organizations bear a tremendous responsibility when it comes to exposing and publicizing information on the situation in conflict zones. That is why Amnesty set clear rules and goals for its data gathering and analysis ...
Read More »Savings? Not When We’re Going To Get Nuked Anyway
By Moshe Kahlon, Minister of Finance Let me get this straight: you want me to worry about affordable housing, the cost of living, defense expenditures, struggling Holocaust survivors, fiscal responsibility, and a crumbling health care system, while none of that ...
Read More »We Palestinians Are Free To Criticize Anyone Abbas Lets Us Criticize
By Palestinian Prime Minister Rami Hamdallah Ramallah, July 10 – It is time to put to rest the notion that the Palestinian Authority suppresses free speech. Palestinians under President Mahmoud Abbas’s rule are free to say anything, criticize anyone, as ...
Read More »We Cockroaches Are All In Favor Of This Iran Deal
By Flitter the Roach Under the Fridge, July 6 – You humans are right to be worked up about Iran’s nuclear ambitions, but only if you insist on your anthropocentric view. We cockroaches have no problem with a nuclear Iran. ...
Read More »Excuse Me Mr. ISIS Jail Guard, But I Only Eat Gluten-Free
By Prisoner 3445509 Yoo hoo! Excuse me! Mr. guard? Over here, yes, the second cell from the end. Thank you for these rations. They look nourishing. But you know, I avoid gluten. Would it be possible to get something not ...
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