By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority President The American-sponsored negotiations between us and Israel reached a stalemate long ago, with neither side budging on what many are calling the “core issues.” Those include arrangements for Palestinian refugees, borders, the status of ...
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Feed SubscriptionTeaching That Jews Have Rights Would Violate Palestinian Rights
By Filippo Grandi, Commissioner-General, United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East As the head of UNRWA, I oversee a vast operation to help Palestinians exercise their rights, and one of those rights is denying ...
Read More »PreOccupied Territory Erectio- Corrections! We Mean Corrections!
By PreOccupied Territory Staff A January 27th Article entitled, “UN Insecurity Council Denounces Self” quoted an expert as characterizing the Council as troubled by issues of self-confidence, self-deception, and hypocrisy. It should also have included comical self-aggrandizement. In the January ...
Read More »How To Make Israel Look Bad For Abiding By Its Agreements With Us
By Saeb Erekat, Palestinian negotiator The struggle against Israel is essentially a struggle for public opinion. There’s no question the best way to capture public opinion is to sabotage agreements we made with Israel and then blame Israel for the ...
Read More »I’m Committing Crimes Against My Citizens, But I’m Not Israeli, So Who Cares?
By Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un As I hardly need tell you, North Korea is not Israel. We’re not Jewish, so it takes a lot more for us to get your attention. It would be different if we were Israel. ...
Read More »Wördy Shmurdy Gurdy Israel, Palestinians Börk! Börk! Börk!
By the Swedish Chef I em a strung sooppurter ooff a tvu-stete-a peece-a. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Joos, hefeeng sooffffered fur must ooff zeeur heestury es a meenurity, cunnut, es a mejureety noo in zeeur stete-a, keep zeeur buuts oon ...
Read More »Nice Country, Israel. It Would Be A Shame If Anything Happened To It.
By US Secretary of State John Kerry You Israelis have done a wonderful job building up the place. It would certainly be unfortunate if something bad happened to it. Hey, I’m not threatening. I’m just telling you, there are plenty ...
Read More »We Won’t Throw Israel Under The Bus Till We Get A Bigger Bus
By Barack Obama I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we have your back, Israel. If you ever want to see it again, do as I say. There’s been all sorts of talk of my administration throwing Israel under ...
Read More »It’s Not Palestine Unless It’s Judenrein
By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority President Binyamin Netanyahu has once again raised a non-starter of an idea: let the Israeli settlers remain in their settlements after the land is transferred to the emerging state of Palestine. Of course we Palestinians ...
Read More »It’s My Job To Make Sure The English On Your Sign Is Wrong
By Iver Mikhshol, Municipal Sign Approval Commission No storefront business is complete without an attractive sign out front. And no such business will open in this town unless it contains at least one glaring error in English. Guaranteed! Municipal law ...
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