“King Abdullah might have a sad.” Jerusalem, July 20 – Government insiders reminded the public today that upholding the values and morals of a society entails saying nothing to or about the heinous actions of brutal criminals and the organizations ...
Read More »Category Archives: Politics
Feed SubscriptionMainstream Press Gearing Up To Be Oppositional Again If Bibi Elected
“It’s important for us to remain objective.” Jerusalem, July 11 – Israeli journalists and pundits began to practice their “speaking truth to power” attitude this week and last, after letting the skill set lapse over the last year, now that ...
Read More »Campaign Operations Derailed By Pollstergeist
The specter of a fifth election cycle has haunted Israel since last year. Tel Aviv, June 30 – New parliamentary elections face Israel in just under five months, and already a destructive paranormal phenomenon has sabotaged several parties’ surveying activity, sources from behind ...
Read More »Bennett’s Security Detail Relaxes In Knowledge No One Would Bother Assassinating Him
“The main concern with our work right now is letting our skills or procedures get rusty.” Ra’anana, June 21 – The bodyguards of Israel’s prime minister acknowledged today that their job has become less stressful in recent months with the ...
Read More »Study: Only Your Opponents Defined By Extremists On Their Side
Only dishonesty could account for those who associate you with objectionable elements. Your invocation of the other side’s extremists, however, captures the essence of that entire camp’s ideology. Tel Aviv, June 15 – New research suggests that whereas your political fellow-travelers ...
Read More »Tantalus Glad At Least He Not Yair Lapid Chasing Premiership
“I think that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” Tartarus, May 26 – A Greek demigod sentenced to have the objects of his fondest desires always eluding his grasp took solace today upon realizing that the fate of Israel’s current ...
Read More »MKs Clinging To Power: Our Disastrous Policies Still Preferable To Elections That Would Trounce Us
“Anything has to be better than Netanyahu. Unless he offers me to share the premiership, which obviously is what the country needs, provided I get to go first.” Jerusalem, May 18 – Ministers and officials in the embattled government and ...
Read More »Fringe Group Acting On Behalf Of ‘The People’ Attracts Votes From Few Actual People
“It’s totally unlike the elites that we aim to supplant, who claim to know what the masses need but in fact are more interested in maintaining and expanding their own power. We would never do that, unlike every other supposedly-Communist ...
Read More »Share Of Palestinians Who See Jews As Human Doubles, To .002%
A minority of analysts raised the possibility that wider Arab normalization with Israel has affected Palestinian attitudes. Ramallah, April 27 – A survey of public opinion in the Gaza Strip and West Bank shows a marked rise in the popularity of viewing ...
Read More »Gantz, Meretz Suddenly Realize European Govt’s Don’t Get To Vote In Israel Elections
“I was under the impression that we career officers-cum-politicians naturally know better than hoi polloi, who probably don’t even know the difference between Mercedes and BMW.” Tel Aviv, April 14 – Leaders of the country’s most progressive parties came to ...
Read More »