“Why should Christians get to be the only ones who get to blame the Jews of all time for the imagined sins of a previous generation?” Jerusalem, February 24 – In a move that High Court justices explained will streamline ...
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Feed SubscriptionNetanyahu Suggests Postponing Elections Till After Elections
This biggest issue: polling places as superspreader venues. Jerusalem, February 15 – Worrisome COVID infection levels have prompted Israel’s prime minister to float the idea of waiting to hold the next round of national voting until following the next round ...
Read More »Fringe Parties Warn Israeli Democracy In Peril If Fringe Parties Kept Out Of Power
“Don’t call us Kahanist! We’ve rebranded since the 1980’s and now we identify as an oppressed minority.” Tel Aviv, February 4 – Political groups at the extremes of Israeli society with a small following cautioned today that the representative, accountable ...
Read More »Michaeli Vows To Restore Labor To Customary Irrelevance
“There are voters coming of age who have never known a Labor-led government. Tel Aviv, January 27 – The newly-installed chairwoman of one of Israel’s oldest, but fading, political parties made a public commitment Wednesday to bring Labor back to ...
Read More »Stupid Likud Thinks It Can Attract Arab Voters With Idiotic Notions Such As Self-Interest, Coexistence
Yet another way in which Netanyahu and his minions are working to undermine democracy. Nazareth, January 18 – The morons who run Israel’s current ruling party apparently believe they can garner votes from the non-Jewish population of the country by ...
Read More »Israeli Parties Score Low Prices On Surplus Voter Fraud Allegations From US
Whoever comes in second will no doubt wield these allegations as liberally as their US counterparts were sprayed. Jerusalem, January 7 – A glut of accusations that officials and institutions within the American electoral system either illegally suppressed or added ballots to ...
Read More »Alternatives To Bibi Almost As Credible As ‘Antizionism Isn’t Antisemitic’
Almost as funny as a terrorist suggesting he targets Jewish children on buses because he wants the best for them. Jerusalem, December 29 – A deeply unpopular yet somehow politically resilient Israeli premier continues to figure atop public opinion polls ...
Read More »Audience Can’t Believe 2020 Writers Think They Find Another Last-Minute Israel Election Drama Believable
Not a single original idea since like 2012. Tel Aviv, December 17 – Observers expecting something original out of the ongoing Israeli political morass voiced their disapproval this week over yet another predictable twist in the narrative, noting that talk of ...
Read More »Hanukkah: Bibi Stretches 1 Term’s Worth Of Underachievement Into 8
Despite initial assessments that his political cowardice would only suffice for a single truncated term. Jerusalem, December 9 – In what observers are hailing as a modern-day Festival of Lights miracle, Prime Minister Binyamin Netnanyahu has succeeded in taking the ...
Read More »Man Insists 1,223,427th Attempt To Mix Religion, Politics Won’t Be Total Debacle
1,223,427 “learning experiences.” Jerusalem, November 30 – A lawmaker for one of Israel’s many parliamentary factions insisted today that following anticipated elections next year, his party will embark on yet another effort to bend the country’s institutions to better suit ...
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