“There are voters coming of age who have never known a Labor-led government. Tel Aviv, January 27 – The newly-installed chairwoman of one of Israel’s oldest, but fading, political parties made a public commitment Wednesday to bring Labor back to ...
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Feed SubscriptionStupid Likud Thinks It Can Attract Arab Voters With Idiotic Notions Such As Self-Interest, Coexistence
Yet another way in which Netanyahu and his minions are working to undermine democracy. Nazareth, January 18 – The morons who run Israel’s current ruling party apparently believe they can garner votes from the non-Jewish population of the country by ...
Read More »Israeli Parties Score Low Prices On Surplus Voter Fraud Allegations From US
Whoever comes in second will no doubt wield these allegations as liberally as their US counterparts were sprayed. Jerusalem, January 7 – A glut of accusations that officials and institutions within the American electoral system either illegally suppressed or added ballots to ...
Read More »Alternatives To Bibi Almost As Credible As ‘Antizionism Isn’t Antisemitic’
Almost as funny as a terrorist suggesting he targets Jewish children on buses because he wants the best for them. Jerusalem, December 29 – A deeply unpopular yet somehow politically resilient Israeli premier continues to figure atop public opinion polls ...
Read More »Audience Can’t Believe 2020 Writers Think They Find Another Last-Minute Israel Election Drama Believable
Not a single original idea since like 2012. Tel Aviv, December 17 – Observers expecting something original out of the ongoing Israeli political morass voiced their disapproval this week over yet another predictable twist in the narrative, noting that talk of ...
Read More »Hanukkah: Bibi Stretches 1 Term’s Worth Of Underachievement Into 8
Despite initial assessments that his political cowardice would only suffice for a single truncated term. Jerusalem, December 9 – In what observers are hailing as a modern-day Festival of Lights miracle, Prime Minister Binyamin Netnanyahu has succeeded in taking the ...
Read More »Man Insists 1,223,427th Attempt To Mix Religion, Politics Won’t Be Total Debacle
1,223,427 “learning experiences.” Jerusalem, November 30 – A lawmaker for one of Israel’s many parliamentary factions insisted today that following anticipated elections next year, his party will embark on yet another effort to bend the country’s institutions to better suit ...
Read More »High Court: Elections During COVID Too Dangerous – Court Will Govern Israel By Decree
The decision also removes the seven dissenting justices from the Court. Jerusalem, November 19 – Israel’s supreme judicial body handed down a landmark decision today, ordaining that in light of the ongoing public health crisis resulting from the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen, ...
Read More »Experts Unsure Which Eulogy More Frequent: Democracy Or Bibi’s Career
“I’m not inclined to count each case of someone sharing that climactic tantrum scene from the the Hitler movie ‘Downfall’ as a discrete instance, but your mileage may vary.” Jerusalem, November 10 – Joe Biden’s election victory this weekend following ...
Read More »Commission: Israel Not Truly Jewish State Without 2nd Knesset MKs Don’t Attend
“I might also point out that certain government-run institutions have an unfortunate reputation for punctuality.” Jerusalem, October 29 – A governmental fact-finding committee on the relationship between state and religion published its findings today following two years of research into ...
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