“If Muhammad the Prophet himself were to ink such a deal we would still oppose it. We would also claim it wasn’t really Muhammad, because that would be awkward.” Jerusalem, October 21 – The alliance of mostly-Arab parties in Israel’s ...
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Feed SubscriptionGoliath Polling +24% After Verbal Exchange With Israelites
“It’s hard to see how Saul and his camp will recover from this.” Elah Valley, Philistine-Israelite border region, October 8 – A rhetorical confrontation between a Philistine warrior champion and his opponents, led by Saul, king of Israel, concluded this ...
Read More »Cabinet Decides Masks, Distancing Only Apply To ‘Little People’
“Everyone should have grasped long ago that there is a special elite to whom the rules do not apply. It’s actually a little shameful to me that we had to make this explicit after all this time.” Jerusalem, September 24 ...
Read More »Coronavirus Threatens Resignation If Litzman Not Reinstated As Minister
“I need someone who can work to help me do my job,” explained the coronavirus. Jerusalem, September 15 – The pathogen behind a global pandemic that has killed hundreds of thousands and sickened millions more warned that unless former Minister ...
Read More »Report: Even Good Thing Bad If Other Political Side Does It
Many sense it intuitively. Jerusalem, September 3 – Scientific research has confirmed a long-held assumption prevalent among the civically engaged, a new study claims, to the effect that constructive, beneficial acts, policies, or decisions that a government adopts become wrong ...
Read More »If Gov’t Falls, Gantz Vows Alternative Elections
An alternative to the ones that would inevitably return Mr. Netanyahu to the helm of yet another lame-duck government unable to form a stable, lasting coalition. Jerusalem, August 26 – Alternative Prime Minister Benny Gantz promised today that in keeping ...
Read More »Judenrat Candidate Insists He Most Qualified To Provide Futile Cushion Against Nazi Brutality
“If the Judenrat will toil in vain,” he chanted, “it might as well be led by someone vain!” Bialystock Ghetto, August 13 – Authorities mandated this week that the Jews of this city elect delegates to a council that will ...
Read More »Israelis Hope To Avoid Choice Between Lousy Gov’t And New Elections By Dying Of COVID
Choosing a “third way” to escape the purgatory of political futility. Jerusalem, August 5 – Ongoing tensions, ineffectiveness, and instability of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s ruling coalition have made many citizens aware that they may soon face the fourth parliamentary ...
Read More »Group Speaking Truth To Power Weirdly Reluctant To Acknowledge Own Power
“The people in real power, the ones threatening the future for the rest of us, are the ones the media take pains to show in a negative light: Jews who adhere to tradition, you know, the ones who are largely ...
Read More »Judges Rule Leftist Judges May Accept Bribes From Ideological Allies
All seven justices present for the ruling agreed on its substance. Jerusalem, July 16 – A new High Court decision Thursday rendered the acceptance of financial or other inducements legal for judiciary appointees, provided those offering the inducements come from ...
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