Officials admitted they find it difficult to identify any phenomenon other than Rabin’s assassination that paints the left in a positive light and the right in a negative one, given that the left’s policies resulted in so much carnage. Tel ...
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Feed SubscriptionAll Parties Reaffirm Support For/From Sex Offenders As Long As Expedient
A crucial measure at a time when those who exploit vulnerable victims for lustful satisfaction or for a sense of power face increasing isolation and threats to their continued political influence. Jerusalem, October 24 – Every delegation to the Knesset restated its ...
Read More »MK: Zionists Enslave Millions Of Bees To Make Rosh Hashanah Honey
“We Palestinians know the same treatment at the hands of the rapacious, plundering invader.” Jerusalem, September 26 – A legislator from the Joint List alliance of Arab parties accused supporters of Jewish self-determination of subjecting millions of flying, pollinating insects ...
Read More »Putin Declares Victory In Israel Elections
“Today marks a victory for democracy as cover for my machinations.” Moscow, September 18 – A long night of vote-counting, speeches, and tension culminated this morning in an announcement by Russia’s president thanking Israeli citizens for voting into office the ...
Read More »Skeletons In Candidate’s Closet Really Getting Sick Of Smelling Mothballs
“If I could throw up I’d be doing so at least once a day.” Tel Aviv, September 9 – Several dark secrets of a political hopeful, in the form of human remains concealed behind the cabinet doors in a spare ...
Read More »Russians Leak Result Of Israeli Election 3 Weeks Prematurely
An official from Russia’s intelligence agency admitted his organization failed to maintain adequate data security. Moscow, August 29 – Officials in the administration of President Vladimir Putin voiced embarrassment today following the accidental release of the outcome of the upcoming ...
Read More »NGOs Call Cameras At Arab Polling Places A Breach Of Right To Commit Fraud
“Here the state squelches an important non-violent avenue of expression for Palestinian resistance.” Umm El-Fahm, August 20 – Activists decried the Israeli authorities’ intention to install equipment at voting stations in advance of next month’s parliamentary elections to prevent false ...
Read More »Political Rivals Agree Other Must Compromise
“Each us of knows the other must give in if we are to make any progress for the public good.” Jerusalem, August 8 – Parties hoping to gain positions in any anticipated coalition to emerge from next month’s parliamentary elections ...
Read More »Falafel Joint’s Main Revenue Now From Politicians Eating There To Show Blue-Collar Solidarity
“Not an hour goes by that some aspiring Member of Knesset, mayor, city councilor, or whatever is stopping by to demonstrate he’s in touch with the common folk.” ‘Afula, July 31 – The proprietor of a deep-fried ethnic food establishment ...
Read More »Barak Actually Covered Face Not To Embarrass Epstein
To prevent the embarrassing discovery that the disgraced Barak has anything to do with him. New York, July 22 – New revelations in the ongoing sex trafficking and pedophilia scandal surrounding an American financier and philanthropist continue to emerge, among ...
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