The sixty-year-old can maintain her commitment to not quite making it to the top, and to finding just the right moment to jump ship. Jerusalem, July 26 – Congratulations to a veteran lawmaker poured in today following the announcement that ...
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Feed SubscriptionHaaretz Editor Unsure If Proposal To Change Anthem To Horst-Wessel-Lied Sardonic Or Sincere
“The only way to prevent Bibi and company from imposing fascism is to overthrow his junta and impose the right – which is to say left – kind of fascism.” Tel Aviv, July 18 – An editorial staff member at ...
Read More »MKs In Uproar After Discovering Knesset Going Paperless Includes Toilet Paper
“It’s been a real… well, I don’t have to say it,” mumbled a frustrated MK Ahmad Tibi. Jerusalem, July 12 – Cries of protest filled the plenum of Israel’s parliament today following revelations that a new policy to eliminate the ...
Read More »MK Zahalka Writhes On Ground As Bill Rejected, Angling For Red Card
Referees issued no such sanction, according to witnesses. Jerusalem, July 5 – A legislator from the Joint List whose grandstanding piece of legislation called for international supervision of an Israeli nuclear facility has been faking an injury in the parliamentary ...
Read More »Armenian Genocide Recognition Postponed Again; ‘Too Busy Not Valuing Lives Of Israelis Near Gaza’
“We’re really busy getting this abdication of our responsibility just right.” Jerusalem, June 28 – The Knesset’s Legislative Committee took a bill off the table this week for the fourth time, a law that would declare Israel recognizes the genocide of Armenian ...
Read More »High Court To Hear Case On Unfair Bedtime
Ten-year-old Tal Silber’s attorneys petitioned the High Court to rule on the legality of a 9 PM lights-out policy in the Silber household. Jerusalem, June 20 – Continued absence of a law defining the role of Israel’s most senior judicial ...
Read More »Poll False Because Doesn’t Show Joint List Taking 12 or 13 Seats
“Numbers and rigorous mathematics are a Zionist deceit anyway,” shrugged Ayman Odeh, list chairman. Jerusalem, June 14 – Experts debunked a survey this afternoon measuring the popularity of each party were parliamentary elections held today, noting that the clearest evidence ...
Read More »Equality Advocates Puzzled Why No Non-Jews Have Applied For Rabbinate
“It’s frustrating, and maybe a little suspicious.” Tel Aviv, June 6 – Activists campaigning for representation of non-Jews in the official organs of governance in Israel voiced confusion today at statistics showing that despite efforts to open Rabbinic positions to ...
Read More »Joint List MK Not Saying Killing Jews Legitimate, But Killing Jews Legitimate
Zoabi assured reporters that she should not be misunderstood as endorsing violence, while she merely sought to endorse violence. Jerusalem, May 30 – A prominent legislator from the mostly-Arab alliance of parties in the Knesset stopped short of calling mortar ...
Read More »Left, Right Agree Criticizing Politicians’ Spouses Only Off Limits To Other Side
Families retain their status as private citizens and must not be held to the same level of scrutiny and accountability unless attached to a politician from the political opposition, in which case there are no holds barred. Jerusalem, May 24 ...
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