Figures show not a single death from a construction site accident among income earners of twenty-five-thousand shekels per month and above. Jerusalem, January 4 – An investigative committee formed to study socioeconomic gaps and to formulate policies to address them ...
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Feed SubscriptionOut-Of-Order Toilet Stall In Knesset To Be Named For Trump
Two lawmakers objected to the proposal, arguing that the clog-prone toilet should be named for other, more worthy candidates, perhaps people closer to home. Jerusalem, December 28 – Reports of discussions surrounding a proposal to name a future train station ...
Read More »Gov’t Clerks On Strike, No One Notices Difference In Service
Many government and public-sector employees find it difficult to transition from their routine stonewalling of citizens to the stonewalling that takes place as part of a strike. Jerusalem, December 20 – A strike among public-sector workers entered its fourth day ...
Read More »Netanyahu Agrees To Make Israel Socialist, Bans Opposition Parties
The prime minister gave a specific nod to Socialist Venezuela, where the opposition has been similarly banned. Jerusalem, December 13 – Bowing to ongoing criticism from the left of Israel’s political spectrum, Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu agreed today to implement ...
Read More »Joint List Misses Deadline To Renew Status As Fifth Column
The List will not be permitted to avail itself of Fifth Column privileges for the next two years, but will be eligible to reapply at the end of 2019. Jerusalem, December 11 – The alliance of four mostly-Arab parties in Israel’s parliament ...
Read More »Third-Rate Commentators Sadly Archive Unused David Bitan Fat Jokes
All these perfectly good fat jokes are going to go to waist. Tel Aviv, December 5 – Following reports that Coalition Whip David Bitan will step down after being implicated in a corruption investigation, hack writers and pundits across Israel’s ...
Read More »New Netanyahu Corruption Probe Over Contract To Pave Paradise, Put Up Parking Lot
The projects include paving paradise, constructing a parking lot at the same location, a contract to operate a big yellow taxi service based there, another to build tree museum, and another to operate the facility and charge people the shekel ...
Read More »Peace Now Slams Joshua, David, For Promoting Settlement Beyond Green Line
“Joshua and David should have consulted us before they waged their short-sighted campaigns.” Tel Aviv, November 21 – Activists in the country’s leading organization promoting removal of Jewish communities from areas Palestinians claim for a future state are leveling criticism ...
Read More »Rabbi: Promiscuity, Homosexuality Cause Earthquakes Not To Destroy Knesset
“A truly God-fearing society would see the petty, manipulative, egotistic, narcissistic, greedy blowhards of the Knesset crushed into the ground.” Jerusalem, November 14 – Following the announcement by a prominent Iranian cleric that the deadly earthquake there on Sunday morning ...
Read More »Gov’t Project To Build Toilet For Flushing Away Money Goes Way Over Budget
“This kind of overflow in spending obviously requires attention, but it would be unwise to assume it can be sustained over the long term.” Jerusalem, November 8 – Ministry of Finance auditors have found that an initiative to construct a ...
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