“Adherence to procedure is a cornerstone of democratic institutions and societies, which means we cannot simply disregard the traditional ban on codes of ethics.” Ramat Gan, June 11 – The Jewish Home Party kicked off efforts over the weekend to ...
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Feed SubscriptionIsraeli Labor Party To Choose Its Next Irrelevant Leader
The party leadership has continued to conduct itself as if Labor’s positions still matter on a national level. Jerusalem, June 6 – Polling stations across Israel will open in several weeks for the Labor Party primaries, in which the party membership ...
Read More »Labor Promises Funding For Smoother Pavement On Road To Hell
“The current Minister of Transport might have some good intentions when it comes to this infrastructure, but not good enough. Labor can and will do better.” Tel Aviv, June 1 – Candidates in the upcoming primary for leadership of Israel’s ...
Read More »Joint List Rushes To Condemn Manchester Attack After Verifying Israelis Not Target
They would not, heaven forbid, thereby imply that it was a bad thing when Israelis are targeted for terrorism. Jerusalem, May 24 – The Joint List alliance of mostly-Arab parties in the Knesset issued its condemnation of Monday night’s bombing ...
Read More »2-State Solution Advocates Admit Idea Outdated, Move Up To Touting 8-Tracks
The time has come to recognize the failure of every such model that has been proposed, and to promote ideas with more contemporary relevance. Jerusalem, May 22 – Israeli political figures who long advocated a long-term resolution with the Palestinians ...
Read More »Scientists Unsure If Herzog Can Get More Pathet- Oh, We Guess He Can
We wanted to determine whether there is a limit to his- oh, goodness, did he really just say that to Trump? Oh my God. Rehovot, May 18 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science expressed doubt today whether Opposition ...
Read More »Arab MKs Disappointed That Calling For Netanyahu’s Head An Idiom
A Knesset legal adviser disabused them of a literal interpretation of the turn of phrase, leading them at first to express frustration, then disappointment. Jerusalem, May 14 – Legislators from the Joint List alliance of mostly-Arab parties in the Knesset ...
Read More »With Lowest Number Of Knesset Seats, Meretz Pushes For Homeopathic Representation
The fewer votes a party earns, the greater its representation would be in the Knesset. Jerusalem, May 9 – Israel’s summer legislative session began this morning with a Meretz-sponsored bill that would adopt homeopathic principles in assigning representation in the ...
Read More »Zoabi Thanks Emperor Palpatine For Supporting Anti-Israel UNESCO Declaration
“Indeed, we see eye to eye with the Palestinian leadership on many important issues,” declared Grand Moff Tarkin. Umm el-Fahm, May 4 – MK Haneen Zoabi issued a statement of appreciation today for the diplomatic efforts of Galactic Emperor Palpatine, ...
Read More »Crowd Gathered To Watch ISIS Beheading Offended By Presence Of Flag With Six-Pointed Star
“That’s disgusting. I feel ill.” Umm el-Fahm, April 30 – Locals who assembled to view video clips of Islamic State militants decapitating prisoners expressed today that they felt their feelings hurt by a nearby blue-and white banner on a municipal ...
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