The time has come to recognize the failure of every such model that has been proposed, and to promote ideas with more contemporary relevance. Jerusalem, May 22 – Israeli political figures who long advocated a long-term resolution with the Palestinians ...
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Feed SubscriptionScientists Unsure If Herzog Can Get More Pathet- Oh, We Guess He Can
We wanted to determine whether there is a limit to his- oh, goodness, did he really just say that to Trump? Oh my God. Rehovot, May 18 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science expressed doubt today whether Opposition ...
Read More »Arab MKs Disappointed That Calling For Netanyahu’s Head An Idiom
A Knesset legal adviser disabused them of a literal interpretation of the turn of phrase, leading them at first to express frustration, then disappointment. Jerusalem, May 14 – Legislators from the Joint List alliance of mostly-Arab parties in the Knesset ...
Read More »With Lowest Number Of Knesset Seats, Meretz Pushes For Homeopathic Representation
The fewer votes a party earns, the greater its representation would be in the Knesset. Jerusalem, May 9 – Israel’s summer legislative session began this morning with a Meretz-sponsored bill that would adopt homeopathic principles in assigning representation in the ...
Read More »Zoabi Thanks Emperor Palpatine For Supporting Anti-Israel UNESCO Declaration
“Indeed, we see eye to eye with the Palestinian leadership on many important issues,” declared Grand Moff Tarkin. Umm el-Fahm, May 4 – MK Haneen Zoabi issued a statement of appreciation today for the diplomatic efforts of Galactic Emperor Palpatine, ...
Read More »Crowd Gathered To Watch ISIS Beheading Offended By Presence Of Flag With Six-Pointed Star
“That’s disgusting. I feel ill.” Umm el-Fahm, April 30 – Locals who assembled to view video clips of Islamic State militants decapitating prisoners expressed today that they felt their feelings hurt by a nearby blue-and white banner on a municipal ...
Read More »Paid Hasbara Trolls Notice They Have Never Been Offered Pay
Instead, the trolls have discovered, they have been engaging in these activities out of conviction that the prosperity and security of the world’s only Jewish State is a key value in their identity and sense of purpose. Jerusalem, April 26 ...
Read More »Outrage As Bibi Blames ‘Aging’ For Dwindling Number Of Holocaust Survivors
“Holocaust survivors are a national resource for us as politicians seeking to score moral or rhetorical points, and it’s downright irresponsible to allow them to die like that.” Tel Aviv, April 19 – Political figures on the Israeli Left pounced ...
Read More »Politicians Surprised To Discover Mimouna Actually Not A Political Event
“You can’t just show me a Wikipedia article that relegates the political side to a single small paragraph and tell me it celebrates something deeper.” Jerusalem, April 18 – Political figures across Israel expressed wonderment today at the revelation that ...
Read More »After Primary Postponed For Britney Spears Concert, Labor Calls For BDS By Musicians
“Tom Jones, Aerosmith, Rod Stewart, the Pet Shop Boys – and that’s just through June. When the heck are we going to conduct the business of this party – and of this country?” Tel Aviv, April 6 – Leadership of ...
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