No one has ever accused the Knesset of anti-Israel bias. Tel Aviv, February 15 – The leader of Israel’s hard-left Meretz Party defended the United Nations Security and Human Rights Councils today amid observations that those bodies disproportionately target Israel for ...
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Feed SubscriptionStudy: Israel Just Getting Worse At Doing Apartheid Right
“No self-respecting Apartheid regime would allow the excluded class to sit on the Supreme Court.” Jerusalem, February 11 – An internal parliamentary report examining the country’s adherence to policies that exclude Arabs from positions of power, negate their rights, and ...
Read More »Gas Deal Includes Likud Outsourcing Electoral Losses To Labor
“We don’t need Likud to help us drop into political irrelevance,” declared MK Shelly Yechimovich. Jerusalem, February 7 – Israel’s Supreme Court heard testimony last week relating to several petitions against the natural gas deal approved by the government, including ...
Read More »Meretz Still Living February 2, 1993
“An inability to assimilate the fact that the assumptions of the pre-Oslo, pre-Gaza-Disengagement eras have been thoroughly debunked by reality.” Tel Aviv, February 2 – Neurologists have diagnosed one of Israel’s premier left-wing parties as suffering from a rare condition ...
Read More »Meretz To Settlers: Stop Attracting Pity By Getting Firebombed
“Choosing to die or sustain life-altering injuries in a manner that does generate sympathy is a demonstration of the lowest form of cynicism.” Jerusalem, January 28 – Leaders of Israel’s political Left warned Jewish residents of Judea and Samaria today ...
Read More »Poll Sees Ashkenazi-God Ticket Beat Bibi
More than fifty percent of respondents answered that they would vote for that team over the incumbent in any future elections. Tel Aviv, January 24 – A new survey finds that in a hypothetical matchup, newly retired General Gabi Ashkenazi ...
Read More »3 Out Of 4 Israelis Unable To Distinguish Herzog From Turnip
The unexpected relevance of turnips to a personality many expected to find more closely associated with waffles. Jerusalem, January 20 – A new survey of the Israeli electorate finds that three quarters of voters cannot tell the difference between Opposition ...
Read More »Joint List: Adopt European Values – Don’t Prosecute Gang-Rapes
“Israel says it has so much in common with democracies in Europe; this is a perfect opportunity to demonstrate such an affinity.” Jerusalem, January 13 – Leading Arab lawmakers have proposed implementing a law enforcement policy that would bring Israel’s ...
Read More »Herzog Diagnosed With Amnesia Of Violence During Labor Governments
The country has not elected a Labor government since 1998. Jerusalem, January 11 – Physicians have confirmed that Labor Party and Opposition leader Isaac Herzog is suffering from a form of selective amnesia that only makes him forget the deadly terrorism against ...
Read More »Education Ministry Admits Failure After Masses Misuse The Word ‘Ban’
“Their failure is our failure, and it must be addressed.” Jerusalem, January 6 – Minister of Education Naftali Bennett acknowledged his office’s part in a large segment of the Israeli public not knowing the difference between banning a book and ...
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