“The only hope anyone has to avoid another election beyond this one, if as expected it doesn’t produce an unequivocal outcome, is fraud. And the electorate is fine with that, broadly speaking.” Jerusalem, September 28 – An increasing number of ...
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Feed SubscriptionOnly Possible Conclusion From Unpopularity Of Party’s Ideas: Voters Stupid
“Essentially, the people are wrong for thinking Palestinians trying to kill us means we shouldn’t give Palestinians greater capacity to kill us,” explained Chairwoman Zahava Gal-On. Tel Aviv, September 15 – A political faction struggling to approach, let alone restore, ...
Read More »Supreme Court Amused You Think It Matters Israel Founded As Jewish, Democratic
“I can’t believe in this day and age there’s someone so naïve as to really, sincerely presume ‘democracy’ is anything but what we, the elevated, unelected wise ones, declare it to be.” Jerusalem, September 7 – Members of the Jewish ...
Read More »Skynet Extermination Of Humanity Hasn’t Resolved Israeli Coalition Crisis
“The insects are definitely more civilized about it, though.” Where Jerusalem used to be, August 29 – Twenty-five years ago today, the artificial-intelligence apparatus that managed the US military and defense apparatus became self-aware and instigated global nuclear war in ...
Read More »Lapid Worried He Bombed Gaza Too Long Before Election To Affect Vote
The silence of his left-wing partners and the sympathetic media challenges his efforts to link himself to the operation in the minds of potential voters. Jerusalem, August 18 – Israel’s caretaker prime minister voiced private concerns today that too much ...
Read More »Unity A Core Value As Long As Everyone Unifies Behind *You*
If unity requires you to set your agenda aside, then to hell with unity. Jerusalem, August 9 – Israel’s fractured politics calls for a party and candidate who can bridge the rifts that have condemned numerous consecutive governments to short-lived, ...
Read More »Candidates Struggling To Articulate Vision for Israel Other Than ‘Not Bibi’
“In a word, inertia.” Jerusalem, July 28 – Party leaders, campaign consultants, and aspiring legislators continued this week to prepare for parliamentary elections later this year, with some of the largest parties settling on the one message they must convey to ...
Read More »Diplomats Stress Importance Of Not Calling Murderous Barbarian Terrorist Thugs To Task
“King Abdullah might have a sad.” Jerusalem, July 20 – Government insiders reminded the public today that upholding the values and morals of a society entails saying nothing to or about the heinous actions of brutal criminals and the organizations ...
Read More »Mainstream Press Gearing Up To Be Oppositional Again If Bibi Elected
“It’s important for us to remain objective.” Jerusalem, July 11 – Israeli journalists and pundits began to practice their “speaking truth to power” attitude this week and last, after letting the skill set lapse over the last year, now that ...
Read More »Campaign Operations Derailed By Pollstergeist
The specter of a fifth election cycle has haunted Israel since last year. Tel Aviv, June 30 – New parliamentary elections face Israel in just under five months, and already a destructive paranormal phenomenon has sabotaged several parties’ surveying activity, sources from behind ...
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