“Ask for your manna to taste like it tomorrow and you’ll understand.” Wilderness of Sinai, July 28 – An Israelite studying the new set of laws that Moses transmitted to the people from the Almighty took issue today with the ...
Read More »Category Archives: Religion
Feed SubscriptionIslamic Leaders Worried They May Have Missed A Jewish Shrine To Appropriate
A development that threatens the absolute nature of Islam’s inevitable dominance in Islamist theology. Jerusalem, July 19 – Muslim community officials expressed anxiety today that some Jewish holy sites might have escaped the fate that befell almost all other places ...
Read More »Report: Ancient Prophets, Sages Wise Except Where You Disagree
In this month’s issue of the journal Pathways in Observed Social Trends in Human Organization and Cooperation (POSTHOC), a sociology periodical. Jerusalem, July 8 – Researchers have determined that the lore and insight of those who lived long ago, and thus had ...
Read More »Man Figures If He Kills Enough Jews Allah Will Change Mind About Land Belonging To Israel
“The whole Allah-giving-Israel-to-Israel has made it much, much harder to kill Jews, which is one important argument in favor of undoing the giving of Israel to Israel.” Jerusalem, June 29 – A local activist believes that despite statements in Islamic ...
Read More »Rabbi: Boys Nursing From Women ‘Immodest’ – Men Must Nurse Them
“B’siyatoh dishmayoh, our holy sons will remain pure of mind, never having seen or felt anything inappropriate while eating as a baby.” Jerusalem, June 20 – The leader of a religious community in this holy city has identified a glaring breach ...
Read More »UN/NGOs Fund Synagogue Building; Assumed It Was Mosque Bombed By Israel
International aid organizations cut checks totaling more than $30M. Jerusalem, June 9 – A congregation that had struggled to meet its fundraising target toward a new facility now finds itself with an excess of money after repackaging its appeal as ...
Read More »Rabbi Notes Importance Of Judging Others Favorably Who Donate To Rabbi
“Our first obligation, even in the era of the Me Too movement, is not to prejudge.” Lawrence, May 20 – A spiritual leader used his sermon this week to stress the Jewish value of always giving someone the benefit of ...
Read More »Synagogue In Bomb Shelter Appreciates Boosted Wartime Attendance
“We usually struggle to get a minyan by eight-thirty; this week we had one at the outset.” Ashkelon, May 20 – Congregation Kol Sasson has struggled for years to maintain regular services, owing to demographic changes in this Mediterranean coastal ...
Read More »Islamic Scholars Agree Killing Jews More Important Than Dignity, Sanctity Of Al-Aqsa
Expiating the shame of losing to Jews in 1948 takes greater precedence than treating holy things with reverence. Jerusalem, May 10 – Authorities on the Muslim faith around the world agreed today (Monday) that the religion assigns greater importance to ...
Read More »Jihadi In Hell Would Prefer Literal Fire To Eternal Burning Shame He Actually Earned
“I embraced the honor/shame dynamic. But by committing unspeakable atrocities in service thereof, I only compounded my shame.” Gehinnom, April 29 – A martyred holy warrior for Islam admitted today he had expected his punishment in the afterlife to feature physical ...
Read More »