PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

“The Zeroth Commandment is ‘Don’t be a goddamn imbecile.'” Divine Throne Room, February 8 – The Creator and Sustainer of all reality expressed frustration today upon discovering additional evidence that despite numerous clear passages in His revealed Word extoling Jewish ...

“Making such a dangerous promise is a one-sided measure that establishes facts on the ground prejudicing the outcome of Israeli-Palestinian negotiations.” Beth El, January 28 – A group of left-wing American lobbyists voiced dismay today following a divine commitment to ...

Bil’am laid the groundwork for his “silencing” claim with a warning that he will only speak that which YHWH endorses. Shittim, Transjordan, January 20 – A prophet and sorcerer whose repeated attempts to curse the Lord’s chosen people came to ...

The Creator of humanity knows a thing or two about human foibles and how hilariously, tragically funny they can be. Kind of like the ‘mishap’ scheduled to hit one of Iran’s sensitive military facilities next week. Tel Aviv, January 11 ...

The phenomenon and its curious exception require significant further study. Tel Aviv, December 31 – Anthropologists examining the controversial phenomenon in which a more powerful society adopts and adapts elements of a subject people’s heritage have observed that the insistence ...

“Even going all the way to eleven has become cliché, thanks to pop culture. So I have to go beyond that.” Jerusalem, December 22 – A self-described “spiritual overachiever” in this city of almost 900,000 marked the final evening yesterday ...

“Oops,” he muttered. “Awkward.” Boston, December 10 – A Massachusetts silversmith admitted chagrin today following an incident last night in which he misinterpreted a Jewish festival ritual as a signal that he must warn fellow patriots of the route, destination, ...

A separate tender features numerous garment and fashion industry entities vying to provide the garments themselves. Oakland, December 1 – Some of the world’s largest bleach and garment-cleanser detergent manufacturers submitted proposals this week to the Temple Institute, a small, Jerusalem-based ...

Upwards of 95% of these occurrences can be thus explained. Cambridge, November 19 – An innovative approach to analysis of ancient documents has led at least one researcher to the hypothesis that numerous deviations in Scripture from the expected forms of ...

“We need an operation to discourage non-Jews from studying the book of Leviticus and certain passages of Deuteronomy, but we can accomplish that by adding all sorts of boring sacrificial ritual to the former, and make the latter look like ...