“The IDF can’t be relied on to supply the requisite number of Palestinian corpses with any regularity, and that’s a tragedy.” New York, June 22 – An activist group known for treating the deaths of even the most violent, heinous ...
Read More »Category Archives: Religion
Feed SubscriptionSpies In Canaan Aim To Inspire US Jews To Call Israel ‘Nice Place To Visit’
“It’s not only our own social position and fear of change we’re considering – it carries implications for all time.” Qadesh Barnea, June 11 – Ten men dispatched from this wilderness location to the Promised Land to bring back details regarding ...
Read More »Man Can’t Get Socializing Done If 6-Ft Distancing In Place At Shul
“You can’t lean over and whisper a snarky comment to your buddy during the Rabbi’s recorded sermon the way you can in shul.” Bergenfield, New Jersey, June 2 – Family and friends of a regular Sabbath morning services attendee noted ...
Read More »Hanania, Mishael, Azaria Look At 5-Day Forecast, Opt To Stay In Furnace
Imperial authorities cast the trio in to the furnace after the three defied a royal edict demanding that all subjects bow to the statue of an idol. Valley of Dura, May 19 – Three Jews cast into a fiery oven ...
Read More »Waqf Says Israel Jams Al Aqsa Prayers From Reaching Allah
“If we do not ask the omniscient deity to help us, how can He know what we want?” Jerusalem, May 7 – Islamic officials at the council that administers holy sites on the Temple Mount accused the Jewish State today ...
Read More »Community Performs Annual Ritual Of Arguing Whether To Make Bracha On Yom Haatzmaut Hallel
“It’s a cherished community custom.” West Hempstead, New York, April 29 – Israel’s Chief Rabbinate long ago ordained the recitation of a series of laudatory and thanksgiving Psalms on the anniversary of Israel’s statehood announcement in 1948, and some synagogues ...
Read More »Kotel Empty, Women Of The Wall Mull Hiring Others To Spit On Them
Chances of encountering useful opposition, i.e. an acceptable level of spitting shoving, and shouting for PR purposes, are close to nil. Jerusalem, April 20 – A group of feminism activists who mark the start of each Jewish month with a ...
Read More »Unaware Imams Promised Them Immunity, Coronavirus Kills Muslims Too
“We need an inquiry into whose job it was to inform the coronavirus only to attack infidels.” Gaza City, April 2 – A pathogen responsible for tens of thousands of deaths worldwide and hundreds of thousands more with life-threatening respiratory ...
Read More »Lockdown Violators: Torah Study Will Protect From Coronavirus As It Protected Yeshivas Of Europe From Holocaust
“Torah is the best guardian,” intoned a young man, citing a martyred sage. Jerusalem, March 25 – Students disregarding official warnings to avoid leaving the home if at all possible and not to congregate or spend time in proximity with ...
Read More »Pandemic Prompts Divine Thoughts Of Postponing Passover Till After Sukkot
A pilgrimage festival under current circumstances will prove an epidemiological nightmare. Jerusalem, March 12 – Ministering angels disclosed today that the Almighty has begun consultation with His advisory board regarding the possibility of delaying this year’s observance of the Feast of ...
Read More »