“New York football success on this field isn’t so old that it’s irrelevant, but it’s just far enough in the past that its absence still sucks the joy out of life.” East Rutherford, New Jersey, January 6 – The five ...
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“If I didn’t know any better I’d wager these parents don’t expect the child to live out a full complement of years.” Bethlehem, Judea, December 26 – A man who agreed to circumcise the newborn son of a couple in ...
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“You can bet every single person before us will run overtime and mess up all the complicated arrangements we’ve made.” Hebron, December 17 – A local patriarch with more than a dozen offspring scrambled to find a logistical solution to ...
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Fake fossils to test faith vs. fake artifacts to displace indigenous Palestinians. Jerusalem, December 5 – Time-traveling Zionists tasked with manufacturing a convincing ancient history for Jewish presence and sovereignty in the Holy Land clashed with the Creator, witnesses report, ...
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“Whereas previous assessments almost all relied on, or gave significant weight to, adherence to some sort of explicit ancient tradition, our model has determined those those factors are a mere distraction.” London, November 27 – Groundbreaking new research into the ...
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Ben Rhodes added that Americans can make the same confident assumption about China’s Muslim Uighur minority. Washington, November 18 – Former cabinet members and other people within the administration of the previous US president again assured Americans they need not ...
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Neither parent relishes arguing with their daughter about proper attire. Jerusalem, November 7 – Parents of a local pre-teen admitted embarrassment today over such touchy subjects as sartorial modesty, human intimacy, and male-female relationships, and confided to a reporter that ...
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“We cannot overstate the importance of truth in governing Muslim-American relations.” Washington, October 29 – A prominent organization for Muslims in the US issued a disclaimer today cautioning Americans in general, and journalists in particular, not to conflate violence that fills ...
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The epithet “Apartheid” featured prominently. New York, October 3 – Seasonal custom calls for Jews to conduct a reckoning of their behavior, and one organization that assumes the mantle of progressive Jewish values has demonstrated it excels in the important ...
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Representatives of Shas declined to comment on the discrepancy between the campaign promise and Mr. Levy’s posthumous fate. Gehinnom, September 19 – A criminal who died this morning after casting his ballot on Tuesday for a party representing Jews of ...
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