It mandates specific attention to Israel regardless of the situation there or elsewhere, and has resulted in more condemnations of the Jewish State than of all other nations combined. Sinai Desert, March 19 – Frenzied diplomatic activity in advance of ...
Read More »Category Archives: Religion
Feed SubscriptionDemocrats Relax On Global Warming After Ayatollah Issues Fatwa Forbidding Climate To Change
John Kerry urged his Democratic colleagues to free up organizational resources and time for other important areas of concern now that Khamenei had solved the climate crisis. Tehran, March 6 – A group that, in its efforts to persuade the public ...
Read More »Saints Bitter As Jesus Wins Martyr Of Month AGAIN
“It’s enough to make a saint wonder whether getting burned at the stake is even worth it.” Garden of Eden, February 27 – Heavenly sources reported today (Wednesday) that the thousands of Christians who suffered and died for the faith ...
Read More »Bible Critics Posit New Orange-Haired Author Of Crude Passages, Called “T”
The new proposed document focuses on menstruation, inappropriate sexuality, boastfulness, walls, fake news, and the term “sad.” Tel Aviv, February 18 – A venerable hypothesis regarding the sources of verses and passages in the first five books of the Hebrew Scriptures may ...
Read More »In UAE, Pope Discovers Marriage Loophole For Sex Abuse Of Minors
“It’s not unprecedented to undo thousands of years of doctrine with the stroke of a pen,” remarked religion scholar Pete O’Filia. Abu Dhabi, February 7 – The head of the Roman Catholic Church slapped his forehead in a moment of ...
Read More »Angels On Head Of Pin Mixed Dancing
The long-term implications of the discovery remain unclear. Jerusalem, January 29 – Scandal gripped the ultra-orthodox world this week following a discovery that the celestial beings who serve as the subject of many conceptual inquiries perform gavottes, horas, and other rhythmic ...
Read More »Christ Sues ‘Christ At The Checkpoint’ For Unlawful Use Of Name
“The one place in the entire Middle East with a growing, thriving Christian population is the one country these people oppose because it’s a Jewish state.” Bethlehem, January 16 – The Prince of Peace, King of the Jews, Son of ...
Read More »Einstein Presented With Dice God Uses To Shape Universe
Gabriel introduced the award at a ceremony to honor Einstein on the occasion of the latter finally passing Heaven’s entrance exam. Paradise, January 9 – A Nobel laureate who made unparalleled advances in the theories underpinning human comprehension of the cosmos ...
Read More »Study: Haredim Poor Because Won’t Handle Shekel Notes With Images Of Women
The Bank of Israel and the Ministry of Finance appear to have ignored the Law of Unintended Consequences. Bnei Brak, December 31 – Researchers have identified a key factor in the economic challenges that face ultra-orthodox Jews in Israel, according ...
Read More »Rabbinate To Charge Non-Kosher Restaurants For Non-Kosher Certification
Establishments pursuing a more elite non-kosher clientele will also enjoy more expensive options such as certification that the establishment uses or serves wine consecrated or offered to idolatry. Jerusalem, December 20 – Israel’s religious establishment will begin levying fees on ...
Read More »