He proceeded to list numerous occasions on which human understanding of the divine will shifted, indicating a pathetic grasp of what the divine attribute of eternity means. Heaven, July 18 – Supernal sources reported today that the almighty creator of ...
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“I predict many fewer such sponsorships, and an overhaul of the way Marketing approaches its mission.” Shittim, Plains of Moab, July 10 – A prominent player in the financial sector canceled its monetary support today for a retaliatory Israelite campaign ...
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“It’s time for me to take my business beyond the magical community.” Hogsmeade, July 10 – Connoisseurs of this wizarding village’s unique delicacies reported a wave of interest today following an announcement that the largest organization in the world handling ...
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Mr. Ali will return to Earthly life in approximately 2025, this time as a suburban father of three near Philadelphia. Seventh Circle of Hades, July 3 – A Palestinian jihadi who died trying to kill Jews will be reincarnated as ...
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“True liberation will not be achieved until men and women of all demographics, but especially the ultra-conservative, enter bathroom stalls at the same time.” Tel Aviv, June 27 – Representatives of several feminist groups battling to achieve equality of the ...
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“Found objects with identifiable marks of ownership don’t automatically become the property of the finder.” Tel Aviv, June 20 – Political and cultural figures railed against a Jewish religious leader today for informing an inquirer that he need not try ...
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Other varieties of pasta have presented no such problem. Jerusalem, June 13 – A local squad of self-appointed enforcers with a mission to maintain strict standards of behavioral and sartorial conservatism warned the proprietor of a neighborhood grocery store to ...
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“Ooh, fruit, big deal,” muttered Samael with a roll of his slit-eyes. Garden of Eden, June 4 – The creature tasked with testing humanity’s adherence to direct divine imperatives complained this morning that he has at his disposal only the produce ...
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“It might have just been that at least one of the ads uses images of pigs, which our teachings consider unclean animals,” suggested Er ben-Onan. Wilderness Of Sinai, May 28 – Manufacturers of a latex prophylactic voiced dissatisfaction today upon ...
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Paramedics treated nineteen people for injuries at the scene, all of them minor. Bnei Brak, May 17 – A fight broke out in a synagogue today following a controversial segment on a television program last night featuring the misuse of ...
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