“Ooh, fruit, big deal,” muttered Samael with a roll of his slit-eyes. Garden of Eden, June 4 – The creature tasked with testing humanity’s adherence to direct divine imperatives complained this morning that he has at his disposal only the produce ...
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“It might have just been that at least one of the ads uses images of pigs, which our teachings consider unclean animals,” suggested Er ben-Onan. Wilderness Of Sinai, May 28 – Manufacturers of a latex prophylactic voiced dissatisfaction today upon ...
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Paramedics treated nineteen people for injuries at the scene, all of them minor. Bnei Brak, May 17 – A fight broke out in a synagogue today following a controversial segment on a television program last night featuring the misuse of ...
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“What is WRONG with you??” tweeted Women’s March leader Linda Sarsour. “Not that I have anything against Jews.” Los Angeles, May 9 – One of America’s premier entertainers continued to confuse and infuriate the political left this week by sharing ...
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Even if the half-ton of documents and other files contain no mention of such a fatwa, deal advocates insist, that does not discount its existence. Tel Aviv, May 3 – Technical experts and translators processing the vast quantity of documents ...
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There appears to be a copious supply of SJWs who are still virgins. Jannah, April 26 – A reconfiguration of the protocols by which those who have never engaged in sexual intercourse are allotted to incoming Islamic shahids for the latter’s ...
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“It’s the same problem all over again as with the spies – people in positions of influence who feel those positions threatened by impending or ongoing changes in society, and sabotage the eternal mission of Israel in the world just ...
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In relationships with mankind modeled in other faiths, Allah noted, the temporal success of an endeavor did not perforce indicate His endorsement. Janna, April 15 – The Supreme Being voiced frustration today at some of His followers’ tendency to accept ...
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Other countries can still submit applications and documented evidence of their capacity for the kind of ethnic cleansing and mass murder that Israel has only committed in the imaginations of its enemies. Heaven, April 8 – Supernal sources indicated today that the ...
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“What did they even eat?” Great Neck, March 21 – A resident of this town on Long Island’s north shore voiced bewilderment today upon discovering that the kosher-for-Passover versions of popular breakfast cereals were unavailable in ancient Israel, medieval Europe, eighteenth-century ...
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