“I just know I could have been part of something uplifting and amazing, and I just decided not to.” Tel Aviv, October 1 – A resident of Israel’s commercial and financial hub who declined the opportunity to move about the ...
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Feed SubscriptionTroubled Har Adar Terrorist ‘Martyr’ Consigned To Heavenly Psych Ward
“We’ve seen more and more of these patients recently,” observed Gabriel. Paradise, September 6 – The Palestinian attacker who shot and killed three Israelis and injured a fourth this morning at a community northwest of Jerusalem, and was fatally shot ...
Read More »Community In Uproar Over Discovery That ‘Tashlich’ Not About Feeding Ducks, Fish
“This is an outrage,” wrote one prominent community member on Facebook. West Hempstead, NY, September 18 – Hundreds of Jews will gather this coming Thursday afternoon at Hall’s Pond for an annual Rosh Hashanah ritual that demonstrates a desire to ...
Read More »Rabbis Debate: On All-Women Bus, Must Women Sit In Back?
Must a bus hired to transport a group of women be treated in the same manner as a bus that serves a mixed population, or does the vehicle’s status vary with the composition of its passengers? Bet Shemesh, September 14 ...
Read More »Visiting Vatican, Jesus Lingers By Nude Artwork
“God saw that it was good,” He declared with the hint of a smile on His lips. Rome, September 10 – The Son of God called on Pope Francis this morning, and on his way through the portions of Vatican ...
Read More »Reciting The Talmud Backwards Reveals Words ‘Rav Ashi Is Dead’
Denials of the reports have only fueled speculation of a sweeping coverup and efforts to dig up more evidence. Sura, September 5 – Rumors are swirling in this Mesopotamian city that the venerable scholar who runs the prestigious academy has been ...
Read More »Hebron Hittites First Try To Sell Abraham Timeshare In Burial Cave
“Ephron was really giving him the hard sell,” recalled a witness. Kiryat Arba, Canaan, August 31 – Negotiations over Abraham’s purchase of a burial site for his wife concluded this morning, but witnesses reported this afternoon that at first, sellers ...
Read More »Sanhedrin Enacts 40 Lashes For ‘Liking’ Instead Of Retweeting
The Sanhedrin voted 70-1 in favor of the motion. Jerusalem, August 27 – The highest court in Jewish Law has decreed that Twitter users who click “Like” on a tweet when no compelling reasons exist for any response other than ...
Read More »Muslims: Shofar Blasts During Jewish Month Of Elul A Call To Destroy Al Aqsa
As evidence, the Islamic authorities point to the fact that they never need real evidence. Jerusalem, August 23 – Spiritual leaders at a contested Jerusalem holy site are warning that the Jewish practice of sounding a ram’s horn each weekday ...
Read More »Jesus Agrees Beatles More Popular
“You do Me no favors by showcasing your insecurity over the observations of a celebrity.” Jerusalem, August 16 – Jesus Christ, son of God, the Prince of Peace, King of the Jews, Messiah and Savior, shrugged His shoulders today and ...
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