“The earth opening up and swallowing might violate international law,” asserted Ken ben-Roth of Arab Rights Watch. Wilderness of Zin, June 20 – The rebellion of a tribal chieftain among the Israelites resulted in the ground devouring him, his sons, ...
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Feed SubscriptionRepenthouse: The Magazine For Porn-Again Christians
“Finding the sweet spot for our product can spread things wide open for us in other arenas.” New York, June 15 – Condé-Nasty Publications announced today that starting next month it will begin selling a magazine aimed at the growing demographic ...
Read More »At Haredi Tech School, All Courses Are How To Photoshop Out Women
“There’s a tremendous market for such a skill.” Jerusalem, June 15 – An oversight group tasked with reviewing the activities of government-funded training enterprises to assist Haredim in acquiring job skills for better integration into the working world and wider ...
Read More »Devout Crustian Awaits Second Crumbing
Her Pontius Pie Plate has become popular. Patty Kaik is in many ways your typical Crustian: flaky with a passion for cheeses. But her devotion to the cause makes even many of her peers sit up and take notice. Ms. ...
Read More »Westboro Baptist Church Starts Picketing Self; ‘Bunch of Hateful Fags’
“If the influence of those forces is as invidious as Westboro claims, then perforce Westboro is not immune to them.” Topeka, June 2 – In keeping with its tradition of seeing the influence of homosexuality everywhere, the Westboro Baptist Church ...
Read More »Church Distributes G-Rated, 12-Page Version Of Bible
Congregations and relieved parents have already placed orders for hundreds of thousands of copies, and RePress, the publisher, will have to produce a second run. Chicago, June 2 – Concerned about the effects that exposure to violence, sex and gore can ...
Read More »Group With 75% Lactose Intolerance Has Holiday Devoted To Eating Dairy
The ability to digest dairy products beyond infancy results from a genetic mutation uncommon among Jews. Teaneck, May 28 – Staff at the Butterflake Bakery in this Bergen County, New Jersey township are noting the usual uptick in cheesecake purchases in ...
Read More »‘Original’ Sin Actually Quite Derivative
“Been there, done that.” Jerusalem, May 23 – Scholars of religion have discovered that what many adherents of religious faith call “Original” Sin in fact represents a phenomenon that existed well before the Sin’s ostensible beginnings. Religious historians and theologians ...
Read More »God’s Manna Supervision Not Good Enough For Man Who Only Eats BaDaTz
The manna was not delivered in a sealed package bearing the stamp and logo of the Badatz. Wilderness of Sinn, May 18 – An Israelite adhering to stringent requirements for food to be permissible under Hebrew dietary law has refused ...
Read More »Lag BaOmer: Celebrating When Rabbi Shimon Shot An Apple Off His Son’s Head
Oblique metaphoric references to Rashbi’s feat with the apple have found their way into Jewish mystical sources, in which Rabbi Shimon is a seminal figure. Meron, May 14 – Hundreds of thousands of Jews gathered this weekend at the traditional ...
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