“I think Passover should be a celebration of veganism, with its emphasis on just plain flatbread, some herbs, the haroset paste, and I guess some potatoes.” New York, April 5 – Local abstainer from animal products Trey Zuzay informed his ...
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Feed SubscriptionWaqf Guide Tries To Explain How Mooning Dome Of Rock Is Sign Of Reverence
“For Muslims the sanctity of this place is very important. We protect it all the time from desecration by, uh, Jewish settlers who storm it and want to bow directly toward the Dome of the Rock!” Jerusalem, March 28 – ...
Read More »SJWs Wearing Hijabs In Solidarity Now Outnumber Actual Muslims
Demographers disagreed over the significance of the findings. New York, March 27 – A survey of people in the US and Scandinavia wearing a traditional Islamic garment has found that the majority of them do not adhere to the faith, ...
Read More »Report: Underneath Clothing, Renaissance Popes Were Naked
“It was an Emperor’s New Clothes moment for us,” admitted Father Nithi. Rome, March 23 – Papal scholars have come to believe that some of the most venerable and venerated figures in Roman Catholicism were wearing nothing beneath their garments ...
Read More »Surplus Of Gentile-Blood Matza From 2014 Still Keeping Prices Low
Operation Protective Edge, framed as an effort to suppress rocket fire by Hamas, was actually an elaborate ruse to kill Palestinians to use their blood in matza. Jerusalem, March 19 – Manufacturers of unleavened bread for the Jewish holiday of ...
Read More »Islamist Terrorists In Hell Tasked With Maintaining Heat By Burning Piles Of Qurans
“I was definitely in it for the glory of jihad and freeing our lands of the infidel usurper,” one recalled as he hurled a rare copy of an illuminated Quran into the pyre, then watched as it curled, blackened, and ...
Read More »Loaves And Fishes Suppliers Threatened By Jesus’s New Wholesale Operation
“Am I supposed to grow figs or something? I can see him causing my trees to wither and die, just to eliminate competition.” Capernaum, Galilee, March 9 – Sellers of loaves and fishes voiced concern today about losing business to ...
Read More »Synagogue Bombs Just Attempt To Make Impressive ‘Haman’ Noise
“Of course there will be those who try to outdo what came before.” New York, March 5 – Police believe the recent spate of bomb threats against Jewish places of worship was a misunderstanding, a department spokesman announced today, with ...
Read More »Success Of Israel Prompts Suspicions That Allah A Zionist
“As an intellectual exercise, if nothing else, let us consider the implications of this idea.” Cairo, March 1 – Scholars at the Islamic University of Cairo have raised the possibility that Allah, the all-powerful deity who created and sustains the ...
Read More »Police Summoned To Break Up Fight In Mikveh: Nidda K’negged Nidda
A Mikveh attendant who gave her name as Riva Rivenu told reporters that confusion over who had made an appointment for a 7:45 immersion led to the fracas. Brooklyn, February 22 – Officers from the NYPD’s 66th precinct responded to a ...
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