“I did a little research on their lifestyle, and we’re moving forward with what I’ve learned.” New York, September 1 – A local gentlemen’s club has erected a barrier to separate female patrons from the males in order to cater ...
Read More »Category Archives: Religion
Feed SubscriptionJerusalem Divided Over Goy Pride Parade
Community leaders among the ultra-orthodox have been engaged to prevent violence. Jerusalem, August 24 – An application by a group of non-Jews to march through the capital city of the Jewish State in a demonstration of political and cultural defiance ...
Read More »Moses Smashes Tablets At Seeing Nation Worship Two-State Solution
Moses descended from the mountain and beheld the uncontrolled passion with which the masses were dancing about the idol they had adopted. Horeb, July 10 – The leader of the Israelites returned from atop Mount Sinai this morning to find ...
Read More »Report: Blood Spots In Eggs Put There To Hide Leftover Matza Blood
Experts were able to match the samples with an Arab child from Hebron who had disappeared this past February. Jerusalem, August 17 – Researchers at the Hebrew University have determined that spots of blood in chicken eggs come not from the development ...
Read More »Waqf To Build Baseball Diamond On Temple Mount ‘For Glory Of Allah’
Waqf officials said they expected it to be competed by the spring of 2018, in time for the baseball season. Jerusalem, August 10 – The Islamic religious authority that administers the affairs of a contested sacred compound unveiled plans today for ...
Read More »Rabbis Unsure Whether Avocado A Fruit Or A Turd
The session ended with the assembled scholars remaining deadlocked. Jerusalem, August 8 – Consensus continues to elude authorities on Jewish law as to the proper classification of the avocado, and whether the produce should be considered a fruit, requiring certain ...
Read More »God Unsure How To Handle Prayers From Opposing Sports Teams
Observers note that while the Washington team apparently prayed with greater fervency, the Rutherford Team outdid them in imagining the positive consequences for their loved ones. Little Rock, AR – Two high school football teams playing against each other have each ...
Read More »New Moon Signaled By Hilltop Fires Because Fax Already Obsolete
“Our ancestors used the fax, possibly as far back as the time of the Judges.” Hills of Samaria, July 31 – When the New Moon is proclaimed by the Court of Seventy Elders in Jerusalem later this week, agents of the ...
Read More »Rabbi Fills In At DNC After Khamenei Declines To Offer Benediction
Khamenei declined to offer a reason for his eleventh-hour cancellation. Philadelphia, July 26 – Viewers, attendees, and participants in the first evening of the Democratic National Convention experienced some moments of disorder and unpredictability, but organizers confessed that the smooth ...
Read More »Tenth Annual Misunderstanding Judaism Conference Kicks Off
Several large Christian congregations sent delegations to the fair to reinforce the myths their communities have always assumed to be true. New York, NY – The Jacob Javits Convention Center was filled to capacity on Sunday as thousands of non-Jews ...
Read More »