“We can probably rely on him just this once without inquiring whether everything is Badatz.” Oaks of Mamre – The trio of divine messengers tasked with engaging Abraham’s hospitality and informing him he will father a son with his wife ...
Read More »
“I suppose you can say it Styx in my craw.” The Underworld, July 17 – The Grim Reaper voiced dismay this morning at rhetoric of the militant Islamist group Hamas to the effect that Israel must fear them because they ...
Read More »
On three separate occasions AutoCorrect successfully thwarted the use of incorrect or harmful words. Plains of Moab, July 13 – Sources within the software development section of the Heavenly realm revealed today that they have been field-testing an app that runs ...
Read More »
“Do you think the ninth of Av and the Day of Atonement, which are 25-hour fasts, can count more somehow?” Greenwich, CT, July 6 – A Jewish spiritual authority has weighed in on the physiological effects of the various fast ...
Read More »
“The instructions and safety warnings were altered by the Zionists to trick us into thinking these aren’t weapons.” Jerusalem, July 4 – Palestinians attending the prayers at Al Aqsa Mosque today voiced bewilderment at traditional US Independence Day festivities featuring fireworks, ...
Read More »
“Anyone ever heard of standing up to evil?” Jerusalem, June 29 – The Hebrew prophet Isaiah voiced exasperation today following the Israel Police’s decision to bar all non-Muslims from the Temple Mount for the remainder of the month of Ramadan ...
Read More »
A verse in Deuteronomy that bars a man with severed or crushed genitals from marrying serves as the starting point for a string of letters. Jerusalem, June 26 – Scholars exploring the Biblical text for clues to current events have ...
Read More »
“Have you ever looked at the list of spices, man?” she asked a reporter. “I mean, really looked?” Wilderness of Sinai, June 21 – A cultivator and purveyor of marijuana leaves aims to have her wares included in the special blend ...
Read More »
Only with that understanding, say the investigators, can one adequately account for their utter failure to request what is manifestly the finest non-miraculous food in existence. Kivrot HaTaava, June 16 – Analysts reviewing the recent behavior of the Israelites in ...
Read More »
The pair entered the town by themselves, causing a stir. Bethlehem, Judah, June 7 – The widow of the late tribal leader Elimelech came back to her hometown today after ten years in the land of Moab, marking the final ...
Read More »