“Back in the day, nobody ever used ‘day’ to mean anything other than a twenty-four hour period.” Minneapolis, May 26 – Local computer technician David Borders knows your belief system is untenable because your holy scriptures can only be understood literally, ...
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“It was an understandable mix-up,” said a spokesangel for the supernal realms. Lehi, Dan tribal territory, May 22 – A fearsome Israelite warrior facing a large number of Philistine fighters was unable to tell the difference between a donkey and ...
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Hipsters say they were doing it before it became so mainstream. Tel Aviv, May 17 – Avant-garde and trendy populations are voicing disapproval of the Jewish practice among men not to shave or take haircuts for most of the seven-week ...
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“Clearly the selection of winners is far from random, which raises all sorts of red flags for a society that claims to be democratic and pluralistic,” said MK Zehava Gal-On. Jerusalem, May 12 – The annual ritual involving the final ...
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“Verily, am I made of money?” intoned the LORD. Supernal Realms, May 8 – Scientists with an ear to the heavens are reporting that, contrary to various studies showing that climate change is occurring as a result of human industrial ...
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“You won’t find it in the Talmud or medieval Jewish sources either.” London, May 2 – Controversial historian Brane Liss pressed his case that the Holocaust was faked, citing the telling lack of any such event in the canonical Jewish texts ...
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“Make every effort not to void bowels until Friday night, once the holiday has formally concluded.” Jerusalem, April 25 – The Chief Rabbinate of Israel will announce next year in advance of the Passover festival that one should abstain from ...
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Israelite leaders Moses and Aaron have yet to comment on the vampires. Memphis, ancient Egypt, April 19 – Observers of the Plague of Blood wrought against the Egyptian Empire are reporting that among the population affected by the calamity, vampires ...
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“I would say the smugness rises to the point that it is only surpassed by that of vegans,” said Dr. Mayim Shelanu. Atlanta, April 12 – Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control are predicting that immediately before and during the ...
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The broken piece of unleavened bread is set aside and hidden away to mimic the lifestyle of the pauper, who suffers food insecurity and always saves some for later. Burbank, CA, April 6 – The nine-year-old son of a Catholic mother and Jewish father, hoping ...
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