“Mr. Trump has demonstrated that our elaborate headgear, indicating religious authority, is no match for that… thing on his head.” Rome, February 27 – Officials in the Roman Catholic Church admitted today that Republican Party frontrunner for the presidential nomination ...
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Galilei must withdraw his conclusions and submit to the authority of the infallible Palestinian pope. Ramallah, February 22 – Ecclesiastical officials in the Church of Palestine have placed a ban of excommunication on Italian astronomer Galileo Galilei for strong evidence ...
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He had refrained from mentioning it to any of the other children, lest discussion of the earth-shattering prospect of naughtiness in Sunday school bring the teacher to her senses and cause her to change her mind. Peoria, IL, February 18 ...
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Narcissus uniformly waxes poetic about the frustration and futility of his desire for the man in the image. Thespiae, Boeotia, February 14 – Legendary figure of Greek mythology Narcissus started his own account on one of the world’s leading photo-sharing ...
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He pronounced that word as if the H were a Y, as is his custom. New York, February 9 – GOP presidential hopeful and real estate mogul Donald Trump voiced excitement today at the upcoming birth of his next grandchild, promising ...
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The search engine consistently gives better answers than most Rabbis. Jerusalem, February 4 – The Chief Rabbinate of Israel will soon take up the question of whether to confer Rabbinic ordination upon the search engine Google, since it provides information ...
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“If I have to listen to that brat crow one more time about ambushing me with a Polaroid and depicting my likeness, I’m going to snap.” Heaven, January 31 – The founder of Islam has submitted a grievance to the ...
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Iran is the world’s largest state sponsor of terrorism. Vatican City, January 27 – Officials in the Roman Catholic Church expressed shock and disgust today upon discovering that despite extensive preparations to make the artwork at the complex physically modest ...
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“Next you’ll tell me God wants us to arrange the Song at the Sea as an 80’s glam-rock ballad.” Marah, Sinai Peninsula, January 20 – Aficionados of high-percentage cocoa-solid chocolates expressed disappointment this week after Moses sweetened the lakes here for ...
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Ten destructive plagues led to earlier, separate calls for an inquiry into those events as crimes against humanity. Stockholm, January 18 – Swedish Minister of Foreign Affairs Margot Wallstrom called for an investigation into the Lord and Moses today, saying ...
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