PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Jews practice the ritual burning of olive oil in increasing quantities each night over the course of the eight-day festival each year. Hebron, December 13 – A new report by the Balestinian Academy for Linking Despised Enemies to Reprehensible Deviance And ...

“Scholars debate the historicity of the Jewish miracle, but ours is here for everyone to see.” Ramallah, December 6 – Curious and inspired pilgrims are streaming to the Palestinian administrative capital to set eyes on a development appropriate for the Hanukkah ...

Western elites serve as the ultimate arbiters of what is and is not Islam. Raqqa, December 1 – Leaders of the Islamic State expressed anxiousness as liberal elites in the West failed to reach a consensus over whether the group’s Islamic ...

“Makes me wonder what they’d say if this were a rape case. Was our father dressed provocatively?” Geneva, November 26 – The United Nations Human Rights Council ordered an investigation into the behavior of the patriarch Jacob this afternoon, saying ...

The current inversion of justice surrounding the world’s encounter with Islamic terrorism represents a qualitative deterioration in humanity’s moral capacity. Jerusalem, November 22 – The Almighty is revisiting His commitment not to destroy civilization once again as humanity continues its ...

In addition to the physical mechitza, El Al will ensure that only male flight attendants serve the men’s section. Tel Aviv, November 18 – Israel’s national airline announced today that in deference to growing demand from Haredi passengers, certain international ...

Allah Himself will also make an appearance or two, on which occasions the defendant will comprehend as never before the damage he has done to Creation. Heaven, November 13 – The man known infamously to Westerners as Jihadi John has ...

Axl Rose has already taken to referring to himself as Al-Axl Rose for the occasion. Jerusalem, November 8 – Sources in Israel’s Ministry of Religious Services revealed exclusively to PreOccupied Territory that the government plans to transform the iconic Dome of ...

Under Taqqiyya, fraudulent claims of Israeli brutality become religiously acceptable, since the goal is a noble one. Cairo, November 4 – Religious scholars at Egypt’s Quds Qollege have discovered that the originators of the use of the Islamic philosophy of ...

Several helpful users provided handy diagrams to help the uninitiated distinguish between traditional Haredi garb and various Goth-type fashion trends. Jerusalem, October 30 – Leaders in the Palestinian community urged their followers today to show some religious tolerance by avoiding ...