PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

“Makes me wonder what they’d say if this were a rape case. Was our father dressed provocatively?” Geneva, November 26 – The United Nations Human Rights Council ordered an investigation into the behavior of the patriarch Jacob this afternoon, saying ...

The current inversion of justice surrounding the world’s encounter with Islamic terrorism represents a qualitative deterioration in humanity’s moral capacity. Jerusalem, November 22 – The Almighty is revisiting His commitment not to destroy civilization once again as humanity continues its ...

In addition to the physical mechitza, El Al will ensure that only male flight attendants serve the men’s section. Tel Aviv, November 18 – Israel’s national airline announced today that in deference to growing demand from Haredi passengers, certain international ...

Allah Himself will also make an appearance or two, on which occasions the defendant will comprehend as never before the damage he has done to Creation. Heaven, November 13 – The man known infamously to Westerners as Jihadi John has ...

Axl Rose has already taken to referring to himself as Al-Axl Rose for the occasion. Jerusalem, November 8 – Sources in Israel’s Ministry of Religious Services revealed exclusively to PreOccupied Territory that the government plans to transform the iconic Dome of ...

Under Taqqiyya, fraudulent claims of Israeli brutality become religiously acceptable, since the goal is a noble one. Cairo, November 4 – Religious scholars at Egypt’s Quds Qollege have discovered that the originators of the use of the Islamic philosophy of ...

Several helpful users provided handy diagrams to help the uninitiated distinguish between traditional Haredi garb and various Goth-type fashion trends. Jerusalem, October 30 – Leaders in the Palestinian community urged their followers today to show some religious tolerance by avoiding ...

The model for this religious accommodation comes from Mecca. Jerusalem, October 26 – Citing the principle of religious freedom, the Jordanian religious institution that governs the internal affairs of the Temple Mount (Haram al-Sharif) facilities announced today that it would ...

The halal shortage began late last month, say Heavenly sources, when Chicago Cubs fans began using goats to try to reverse the 108-year-old curse on their favorite baseball club. Paradise, October 21 – Thousands of Muslims who gave their lives ...

The move comes after Palestinian rioters set alight Joseph’s Tomb in Nablus (Shechem) last night, a site claimed as sacred by both Jews and Muslims. Jerusalem, October 16 – Religious leaders at Al Aqsa Mosque are planning to burn down ...