PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Nahagin apparently lies in the third order of the Mishna’s six divisions, which addresses laws governing male-female relationships. Jerusalem, August 13 – Researchers sifting through fragments from the medieval repository of manuscript remnants called the Cairo Geniza have unearthed a previously ...

The decals are mounted in such a way that under Jewish law they are considered adhering to, but not part of, the ritual ornament. Jerusalem, August 8 – Israel’s Chief Rabbis endorsed a new ruling this morning that allows the use of ...

Bnei Brak and Kiryat Sefer, two cities with an almost completely Haredi population, featured men walking around in Crocs of subdued colors. Jerusalem, August 3 – Sweltering under an unprecedented heat wave hitting the region, Israel’s leading Rabbis took the ...

Christ said He hopes His move will lead other divine figures to take similar steps to help inspire humanity to right injustices. Heaven, July 30 – The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ finally weighed in directly on the controversial Boycott, Divest, ...

“We will of course take into account eyewitness reports that he has appeared elsewhere in the world, such as on pieces of toast in Arkansas, but the most reliable accounts place him in these parts.” Jerusalem, July 22 – Minister ...

Jeffrey and Coombs have publicly questioned the statistical validity of the Witztum-Rips chocolate chip cookie, and the two factions have been exchanging heated e-mails ever since. Jerusalem, July 20 – Separate groups of academics working to gather more evidence of ...

“The nuclear inspection program could be a wonderful opportunity for our underemployed supervisors.” Jerusalem, July 16 – The International Atomic Energy Agency announced today that in keeping with the leniency shown to Iran under the recent Vienna agreement, inspections of ...

“These are but the latest features in a Hell much more accepting of persons with disabilities.” River Styx Crossing, July 12 – A new renovation to the Underworld has brought physical improvements that include enhanced compatibility for people who can ...

“We cannot allow the mere shift in phases of the moon to dictate that we diminish our efforts to drive the Jewish ape-pig infidel from the land.” Jerusalem, July 7 – Muslims have responded enthusiastically to calls encouraging them to ...

He will be allowed to watch as others are provided their allotment of six dozen virgins. Rafah, Egypt, July 1 – Mustafa Ali Al-Masri, 22, blew himself up in this Egyptian border town today, injuring six paramilitary police, but will not ...