Generous assessments have the number of missing children at close to 14,000, but the Hamas-run Ministry of Health balks at such inflated numbers and accuses those who promote them of purveying naked propaganda. Jerusalem, March 11 – Israel’s Chief Rabbis issued ...
Read More »Category Archives: Religion
Feed SubscriptionHarvard: Homosexuality Created By Zionists To Pervert Muslims
As a result of the Zionist homosexuality pathogen, the frequency of homosexuality in the Muslim world has increased four hundredfold in the ensuing eighty years. Cambridge, Massachusetts, March 4 – Researchers at Harvard University Medical School have concluded that homosexuality ...
Read More »Rabbis Rule Software Must Ask 3 Times Before Format Conversion
The new rules, called the Graphic Interface Yes-Urging Requirements (GIYUR), are aimed at gauging the sincerity of file conversions and weeding out the potentially dangerous ones. Jerusalem, February 25 – Israel’s Chief Rabbinate instituted new rules today for handling the ...
Read More »God Officially Forsakes Bad Tippers
If the rollout proves successful, a similar policy will be applied to airline passengers who treat flight attendants and fellow travelers with disrespect. Heaven, February 20 – The Lord Almighty confirmed today that He has formally embarked on a policy ...
Read More »NYT Lost On What Synagogue, Kosher Market Have In Common
“We note the worrisome trend of people associating violence by people of the Muslim faith with violence by people of the Muslim faith.” New York, February 15 – Editors at the New York Times are struggling to find a common ...
Read More »LORD Edits ‘Distance Thyself From Falsehood’ To ‘Don’t Get Caught’
By evening, a summary and brief commentary by a Bnei Brak Rabbi had appeared, entitled Cover Thy Ass. Heaven, February 14 – The omnipotent Creator announced today that He will issue a modification to a famous statute proscribing perjury, departing ...
Read More »Other Religious Wars Miffed Obama Didn’t Cite Them
“We suspect the president chose them simply because some of the Crusades were fought against Muslim armies, which, frankly, smacks of discrimination.” Wittenberg, Germany, February 8 – The backlash against US President Barack Obama’s invocation of the Crusades last week ...
Read More »Trees Totally Oblivious Tu Bishvat Coming
“Unlike humans, who never really mature. Trees have no need for our fickle sensibilities, and our tendency to seize every moment.” Sacher Park, Jerusalem, February 1 – The trees in this wooded patch of the city remain completely unaware that ...
Read More »Hamas Quietly Looking To Sell Giant Nude Portrait Of Muhammad
“Even though this is high art, those philistines in ISIS probably don’t understand the finer points of Islamic culture.” By Tzvi Ben Yaakov Gaza City, January 22 – What has long greeted visiting journalists and dignitaries to the palatial Hamas headquarters ...
Read More »Biblical Zoo Acquires Leviathan; Seeks Larger Site
Beit Shemesh, January 21 – One of Israel’s small, niche zoos has put itself on the map by becoming the first such establishment in the world to house the legendary Leviathan. The Biblical Museum of Natural History in the Northern Industrial ...
Read More »