Heaven, August 1 – The supreme power in the universe, Allah, complained today that His brow hurts from all the times he has reacted with dismay and disbelief to the actions of those who claim to be his followers. The ...
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Feed SubscriptionImam Considers Moving Missiles To Make Room For Worshipers
Gaza City, July 25 – In advance of prayer on the most well-attended day of the Muslim week, Friday, Imam Ali Al-Jabri of the Nebi Shufri Mosque in downtown Gaza City faces a dilemma: where to fit the worshipers, whose ...
Read More »Catholics Thrilled That Pope So Influential In Mideast Peacemaking
Rome, July 21 – Just two months after a landmark visit to the Holy Land by Pope Francis, Catholics around the world are encouraged by the visit’s lasting impact on efforts to bring peace to the region. Francis visited Israel ...
Read More »Angels Arguing For Another Round Of Cartoon-Instigated Muslim Violence
Heaven, July 16 – Supernal sources are reporting that several influential archangels are lobbying the Almighty for another set of riots in the Muslim world ostensibly sparked by Western cartoons offensive to Islam, since the first time around was so ...
Read More »Satan Tired Of Hamas Leaving Gates Of Hell Open All The Time
Khan Yunis, Gaza Strip, July 9 – The leadership of Hamas and Islamic Jihad threatened to “open the gates of Hell” on Israel if the latter continued attacking their fighters launching rockets at Israel, but the chief resident of Hell ...
Read More »That’s Not the Prophecy I Spake Unto Thee, Thou Idiot
Thus saith the LORD: Thou art a moron. I mean, really. How difficult can it be for you to describe what you saw in that vision? It’s not like I was cryptic or anything. “Go forth unto the people and ...
Read More »Satan Gleefully Anticipating Eventual Arrival Of Palestinian Kidnappers
Seventh Pit of Hell, June 30 – The Prince of Darkness has begun preparations for the eventual arrival in Hell of the two men responsible for the abduction and murder of three Israeli boys two weeks ago, and has set ...
Read More »Muslims: Israel Taking Forever To Destroy Al-Aqsa Already
Jerusalem, June 25 – Palestinian religious scholars and military experts alike remain baffled at Israel’s continued failure to mount an actual effort to destroy the Al-Aqsa Mosque, despite years of warnings by Palestinian and Arab leaders that such attempts are ...
Read More »Lack Of Calls For Bloody Revenge Confirms Jews Alien To Middle East
Ramallah, June 18 – Arab thinkers and activists alike are pointing to Israeli society’s collective, low-venom reaction to the kidnapping of three teenagers by Hamas as further evidence that the Jews are foreigners in the region and have no legitimate ...
Read More »Islamic Scholars Toy With Idea Of Valuing Life
Mecca, Saudi Arabia, June 11 – Leading figures at the madrassas and other repositories of Islamic learning across the Middle East and North Africa have recently begun examining the hypothetical notion of assigning actual worth to individual human existence. Such ...
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