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Europe: Slaughter Of Jews Kosher, Kosher Slaughter Not

Europe: Slaughter Of Jews Kosher, Kosher Slaughter Not

Brussels, April 20 – In a clear sign of Western civilization’s progress, European countries that made it a ritual to slaughter Jews are outlawing Jewish ritual slaughter. The continent with the bloodiest history when it comes to Jews has evolved ...

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Rabbinate: Clear Your Browser Cookies Before Passover

Rabbinate: Clear Your Browser Cookies Before Passover

Even a single byte is forbidden. Jerusalem, April 9 – Israel’s ranking religious officials issued a reminder to Jews today to make sure they remove all the cookies from their computers by Monday morning, before the Passover prohibition against possessing ...

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Hell Forced To Open New Wing For Suicide Bombers

Hell Forced To Open New Wing For Suicide Bombers

Sheol, March 24 – The management of the Underworld announced this morning that a continued influx of suicide bombers from various countries in the Middle East has made it necessary to set aside a separate extension of the domain just ...

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UN Condemns All Jews For Mordechai Not Bowing To Haman

UN Condemns All Jews For Mordechai Not Bowing To Haman

Geneva – The United nations Security Council issued a condemnation of the Jewish people today, following Mordechai’s refusal to prostrate himself before Haman, another of the King Ahashverosh’s ministers. The resolution called the refusal “a deplorable act of intolerance,” and ...

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Haman’s 50-Cubit Gallows Cited For Zoning Violation

Haman’s 50-Cubit Gallows Cited For Zoning Violation

Susa, Persian Empire – Prime Minister Haman Ben Hamedata has been charged with a fine of 50 silver pieces for erecting an unauthorized structure on his property, sources inside the palace reported today. Eyewitnesses told PreOccupied Territory that upon returning ...

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