“It’s especially Jewish to tolerate people who seek to harm you, which is why so many Jews are proud progressives.” New York, August 24 – A gentile took the opportunity again today to lecture a member of the Hebraic tribes ...
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Feed SubscriptionGroup Thinks Nation That Survived Genocides With Epic Sense Of Mission, History, Deterred By Stabbings, Rockets
“Their straw man of Jewish assumptions and motives, derived from centuries of antisemitic indoctrination and their own fantasies of power, leads them to think Jews will cower and flee when violence confronts them.” Jabaliya Refugee Camp, August 15 – Members ...
Read More »Area Dad Refers To Grain-Free Passover Products As ‘De-Floured’
“What?” he protested. “Admit it, you know it’s funny.” Jerusalem, August 4 – A local father found the opportunity to make a suggestive pun too enticing to wait until it became relevant to the season, choosing instead Thursday morning to ...
Read More »Alien Archaeologists Posit Ritual Significance To Badly-Proportioned Figurines With Tiny Waists, Long Hair, Large Breasts
The layers of colorful fabric in which the figures are often adorned demonstrates they were objects of devotion. Northeast coast of Land Mass B, July 26 – Explorers unearthed another sample of a distorted humanoid replica last month, identical to ...
Read More »Soccer Fan Hopes To Catch Maariv Minyan At Post-Game Riot
“I’m still saying Kaddish for my mother.” Jerusalem, July 14 – A stalwart supporter of this city’s Premier League team, known for the jingoistic, often-racist, and sometimes-violent passion of its core demographic, plans to return from this evening’s match too ...
Read More »Frankenstein, Igor Bummed At Having To Get Sprinkled By Red Heifer Ash
“I’m a little busy now trying to locate my monster.” Geneva, July 6 – A scientist and his assistant whose work has required them to come into contact with human remains, and thus to contract what the Bible considers spiritual ...
Read More »Religion Primitive, Says Man Willing To Sacrifice Others For Ideology
“It’s a small price to pay for sustainability,” he explained. “We can afford it, and they can make the sacrifice for something that worthwhile.” Tel Aviv, June 27 – An activist who rails against his people’s spiritual heritage, calling it ...
Read More »Waqf Clarifies: Only Muslims Allowed To Urinate On Al Aqsa Mosque
“Who are Westerners to call the elimination of urine from the body on top of a holy shrine a show of disrespect?” Jerusalem, June 8 – Video of a militant Islamist relieving himself on the roof of Islam’s third-holiest site ...
Read More »Emptying Synagogue Won’t Deter Rabbi From Lengthy Sermon
“The place was packed before that, easily eighty or ninety people.” Jerusalem, May 26 – Friday evening services this past weekend saw a dramatic occurrence at a local house of worship, when manifest dissatisfaction evident in the steady stream of ...
Read More »Alleged Descendants Of Khazars Not Real Jews But Descendants Of Islamic Conquest Forced Converts Welcome In Muslim-Only Mecca
“The Jews who came from Europe aren’t real Jews because their ancestors weren’t from here. Please ignore that my family name means ‘the Kurd.'” Jerusalem, May 17 – Activists stressed the important distinction today between the lack of ancestral legitimacy ...
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