“If they like and admire me so much, as they claim, why do they do that?” Umpteenth Circle of Hell, December 17 – Former leader of Nazi Germany Adolph Hitler expressed disgust and exasperation at people who seek to deny ...
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Feed SubscriptionUK To Attack Islamist Militant Stronghold Of ‘France’
If successful, the bombing campaign will be expanded to other Islamist strongholds, such as Belgium and Sweden. London, December 9 – British Prime Minister David Cameron announced plans this afternoon to send the Royal Air Force to conduct airstrikes against ...
Read More »Palestinians To Terrorists In US: Use Knives; ‘Guns Upset Democrats’
Americans most likely to harbor sympathy for Islamists are also more suspicious of guns and gun users. Hebron, December 7 – Palestinian activists sympathetic to the aims of Islamists in the US advised would-be terrorists planning attacks in that country ...
Read More »Archaeologists Unearth Evidence US Presidents Once Had Balls
To the modern ear, the notion of a US president with balls strikes a dissonant chord. Washington, December 2 – Researchers excavating in the US capital have discovered what they say are indications that there was a period in the ...
Read More »Obama Calls For CDC To Stop Fighting, Start Negotiating With Cancer
“The first move should involve a moratorium on radiation therapy and chemotherapy, as a confidence-building measure.” Atlanta, November 25 – In a bid to reduce tensions and lower the level of open conflict in a war going back decades, US ...
Read More »For Diversity, NY Times To Attribute Muslim Terrorism To Other Religions
If atheist suicide bombers are underrepresented in stories of terrorism, we cannot escape the question of whether that stems from biased coverage of conflict zones. New York, November 23 – Worried that the perpetrators of terrorist acts in recent years ...
Read More »Bar Mitzva Boy Allowed To Manipulate Stock Market For A Day
Elders of Zion Inner Council Chairman Maury Geltman wanted something more for his grandson to mark the boy’s coming of age. New York, November 19 – Visiting dignitaries and other special guests are given the honor of ringing the opening bell ...
Read More »Sh*t Tired Of Getting Real
“It’s been a very long time since I got real this often, and this badly,” said sh*t. Paris, November 15 – Following the murders of 129 people in the French capital Friday night, sh*t expressed its frustration and irritation at ...
Read More »EU History Texts To Recast Nazi Yellow Star As ‘Consumer Information’
EU officials privately acknowledge that footnotes in the textbooks will be allowed to allude to the economic and social pressure concomitant with the star-wearing requirement. Brussels, November 11 – Following today’s European Union decision to label imports of Israeli goods manufactured in ...
Read More »Obama Reverses Roosevelt Decision, Will Take Refugees Fleeing Nazis
Analysts believe the gesture has more to do with satisfying certain domestic constituencies than with any moral sense. Washington, November 10 – US President Barack Obama today ordered the State Department to issue entry visas to the more than 900 ...
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