Washington, DC, June 14 – Officials at the State Department restated their intention to recognize and maintain dealings with the Palestinian unity government despite the kidnapping yesterday morning of three Israeli teenagers by Palestinians, explaining that by nature, the lives ...
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Feed SubscriptionEurope: Muslims Should Leave Killing Of Jews To Us
Paris, June 7 – The aftermath of the fatal shootings in a Belgian Jewish Museum two weeks ago by a Muslim with French citizenship has the Continent’s far right in an uproar, as the anti-immigrant, antisemitic groups in question believe ...
Read More »Europe Injures Fingers Handwringing Over Antisemitism
Brussels, June 1 – The fatal shooting attack at the Jewish Museum in this Belgian capital has led to additional injuries, as the gestures associated with agonizing over persistent hate have caused Europe to seek treatment for sprains and irritation ...
Read More »Pope Rescinds Palestine Recognition: ‘Evil Terrorist Bastards’
Ben Gurion International Airport, Israel, May 26 – Pope Francis took the opportunity upon his departure from the Holy Land to retract the Vatican’s recognition of the State of Palestine this evening, calling the leaders of the Palestinian government and ...
Read More »Obama Defends Inaction On Syria Chemical Attacks: ‘Never Said Simon Says’
Washington, DC, May 19 – President Obama hit back at critics of his policy on the Syrian civil war today, insisting that he never committed to getting the US directly involved in the conflict even if Basher Assad’s forces crossed ...
Read More »Muslim Men Checking E-Bay For Kidnapped Nigerian Schoolgirls
Bamako, Mali, May 12 – With virgin brides at a premium in this bustling region, many Muslim men realized that the abduction by Islamic militants of 276 schoolgirls in Nigeria presented a rare opportunity to obtain a pristine new bride, ...
Read More »Biblical Ezra Visits Teaneck, Performs Facepalm
Teaneck, New Jersey, May 5 – On the date of the Hebrew calendar that marks the anniversary of modern Israel’s establishment as a state, Ezra, the hero of the eponymous Biblical narrative, expressed frustration that the Jews of that township ...
Read More »“Never Again” Facebook Posts To Magically Prevent Another Holocaust
Berlin, April 27 – Bruno Schmidt, 30, has spent most of his life as an ardent admirer of Nazism, but after hearing that Chloe Horowitz, 17, of Teaneck, New Jersey, liked a “Never Again” post on her friend Shira Scheinerman’s ...
Read More »Obama Offers To Kill Americans Himself If Islamists Agree Not To
Washington, DC, April 24 – Speaking on the anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing, President Obama sounded a conciliatory note toward Islamists by suggesting that he could engineer the deaths of Americans instead of forcing terrorists to do so. The ...
Read More »Obama Apologizes To Muslims For Anti-Jewish Kansas Attacks
Washington, DC, April 17 – President Obama expressed remorse today over the fatal shootings in Kansas this week, apologizing to Muslims for allowing Jews to be seen as victims. Frazier Glenn Cross, 73, a known White Supremacist, went on a ...
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