New York, February 2 – The United Nations Security Council endorsed a statement this morning calling on Israel to stop providing medical treatment to wounded Syrians, saying that the practice conflicts with the negative portrayal of Israel the body wishes ...
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Feed SubscriptionChabad House of Mecca To Close
Mecca, Saudi Arabia, January 31 – The joke remains relevant, but poignantly less so now: you might find Coca-Cola in the holy city of Mecca, but you will no longer find a Chabad shaliach. After three years of keeping the ...
Read More »UN Insecurity Council Denounces Self
New York, NY (AP) – Meeting behind closed doors because of what others might think of them, the United Nations Insecurity Council took up the matter of the violence in and around the West Bank and Gaza Strip, and wound ...
Read More »Jewish Communities Discovered Outside New York
New York, January 24 (Duh) – Jewish leaders are reeling in the wake of the discovery that there are functioning Jewish communities beyond the New York area. It has long been accepted that individual or small groups of Jews might ...
Read More »Study: Not All Jew-Haters Want Jews Shot
Some want them gassed, burned, drowned, crushed, buried, dissolved, beheaded or impaled Phoenix, AZ (Reuters) – A Ku Klux Klan poll has found unexpectedly diverse attitudes among Jew-haters. Where researchers expected to encounter broad agreement with the sentiment that Jews ...
Read More »World Pulls Jaw Muscle While Yawning At Beirut Bombing
New York (AP) – The world was treated for a pulled jaw muscle today after yawning at the car bombing in a Beirut suburb yesterday. Doctors at New York’s Bellevue Hospital reported that that patient was admitted to the ER, ...
Read More »Media Outlets Rush To Update Pending Sharon Obituaries
New York (AP) – A rapid deterioration of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s condition has journalists scrambling to update their files in case the publication of an obituary becomes necessary in the coming hours or days. Sharon, 85, suffered ...
Read More »Austrians Running Out Of Ways To Fake Contrition Over Nazi Past
As the last remaining Nazi war criminals die off after living in the country unmolested for nearly seven decades, Austria will lose one of the few remaining vehicles though which to feign horror. Vienna – When the Vienna Philharmonic posthumously stripped ...
Read More »Obama Cancels Failed Program To Get All Israelis To Drown Selves In Sea
Washington, DC (AP) – President Obama has instructed the State Department to end its four-year-old attempt to convince Israelis to resolve the ongoing conflict with the Palestinians and other Arab nations by voluntarily drowning themselves in the Mediterranean Sea. The ...
Read More »US Academics Vote To Boycott Israel, Jupiter
Washington, DC (AP) The American Studies Association released the results of its membership vote Monday, in which the 5,000 educators adopted a resolution calling for an academic boycott of Israeli institutions and of the planet Jupiter. By a two-thirds margin, ...
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