“I don’t get it. How do those people show their resistance to Zionism?” Ramallah, January 24 – Subjects of the Palestinian Authority expressed surprise today upon discovering that outside their self-rule areas, the standard treatment for people convicted of violent crimes involves ...
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Feed SubscriptionPalestinians Visiting D.C. Riot Upon Seeing Jews Approach Domed Structure
“Jewish settlers are storming the… mosque-like thing!” Washington, January 12 – A group of tourists from villages around Ramallah and Tulkarm created disturbances in the vicinity of the US Capitol building Thursday when one of them spotted another group entering ...
Read More »Palestinian Suggestions That China Blame Open Israeli Dams For COVID Spike Fall On Deaf Ears
“We understand the decision even if we disagree with the reasoning behind it.” Beijing, January 4 – Diplomatic delegates representing Mahmoud Abbas lamented today that their advice to Xi Jinping and his administration on how to handle a resurgence of ...
Read More »Jewish Space Laser Behind Schedule On California Wildfires
Disappointing third-quarter results from the California Wildfire Initiative of the Harvey and Jeanette Weinberg Space Laser. New York, December 26 – Disappointing status reports came under review today at the shadowy Zionist organization that manipulates earthly events using advanced orbiting ...
Read More »Attacker Of Random Jews Glad He Lives When Israel Exists For Pundits To Invoke In His Defense
“Israel didn’t figure into such behavior a hundred or two hundred years ago. We just have a fig leaf for it now, and that feels good.” New York, December 15 – A man arrested today for multiple assaults of Hasidim in Brooklyn ...
Read More »Constant Target Of Genocides, Pogroms, Terrorism Told To Stop Overreacting
“You’re not oppressed. You’re privileged and white, so shut up. Also, you ran the slave trade.” New York, December 6 – A tiny ethnoreligious group that has fallen victim to extermination attempts, blood libel riots, assorted religious massacres, legal discrimination, forced ...
Read More »Descendants Of Arab Conquerors Confused Why European Settlers In Americas Never Claimed Land Was Always Theirs
“I understand the Western reluctance to abandon the factual realm entirely,” acknowledged James Zogby. Washington, November 24 – The distant progeny of seventh-century invaders of the Levant from the Arabian Peninsula and of later immigrants from around the region voiced ...
Read More »Farrakhan Not An NBA Player Who Can Be Suspended, Rendering US Powerless To Address Antisemitism
“We’re stymied,” admitted former President Barack Obama, whose own past includes posing for pictures with Farrakhan. New York, November 16 – The removal of a basketball star from a Brooklyn franchise for several games over the player’s sharing of content ...
Read More »Jews’ Success In Teaching About Their Persecution Cited As Proof Of Privilege
Antisemites see the privileged status of Jews in such contexts as Treblinka and conclude that Jews must exert enormous power. New York, November 7 – Widespread knowledge that Jews were herded by the millions to their extermination by gas, bullets, starvation, and ...
Read More »No Major Holidays Till Spring: Professor Must Wait To Screw Over Jewish Students With Scheduling Conflicts
In some years Rosh HaShanah coincides with Saturday and Sunday, depriving Masoud of an occasion to impose that crucial didactic choice on Jewish students. New York, October 27 – A faculty member at Columbia University who proudly asserts his courses in ...
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