Disappointing third-quarter results from the California Wildfire Initiative of the Harvey and Jeanette Weinberg Space Laser. New York, December 26 – Disappointing status reports came under review today at the shadowy Zionist organization that manipulates earthly events using advanced orbiting ...
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Feed SubscriptionAttacker Of Random Jews Glad He Lives When Israel Exists For Pundits To Invoke In His Defense
“Israel didn’t figure into such behavior a hundred or two hundred years ago. We just have a fig leaf for it now, and that feels good.” New York, December 15 – A man arrested today for multiple assaults of Hasidim in Brooklyn ...
Read More »Constant Target Of Genocides, Pogroms, Terrorism Told To Stop Overreacting
“You’re not oppressed. You’re privileged and white, so shut up. Also, you ran the slave trade.” New York, December 6 – A tiny ethnoreligious group that has fallen victim to extermination attempts, blood libel riots, assorted religious massacres, legal discrimination, forced ...
Read More »Descendants Of Arab Conquerors Confused Why European Settlers In Americas Never Claimed Land Was Always Theirs
“I understand the Western reluctance to abandon the factual realm entirely,” acknowledged James Zogby. Washington, November 24 – The distant progeny of seventh-century invaders of the Levant from the Arabian Peninsula and of later immigrants from around the region voiced ...
Read More »Farrakhan Not An NBA Player Who Can Be Suspended, Rendering US Powerless To Address Antisemitism
“We’re stymied,” admitted former President Barack Obama, whose own past includes posing for pictures with Farrakhan. New York, November 16 – The removal of a basketball star from a Brooklyn franchise for several games over the player’s sharing of content ...
Read More »Jews’ Success In Teaching About Their Persecution Cited As Proof Of Privilege
Antisemites see the privileged status of Jews in such contexts as Treblinka and conclude that Jews must exert enormous power. New York, November 7 – Widespread knowledge that Jews were herded by the millions to their extermination by gas, bullets, starvation, and ...
Read More »No Major Holidays Till Spring: Professor Must Wait To Screw Over Jewish Students With Scheduling Conflicts
In some years Rosh HaShanah coincides with Saturday and Sunday, depriving Masoud of an occasion to impose that crucial didactic choice on Jewish students. New York, October 27 – A faculty member at Columbia University who proudly asserts his courses in ...
Read More »Miami Boys’ Choir Declines Invitation To Sing US Anthem At Ball Game: ‘Too High’
“And the rockets red glare” and “O’er the land of the free.” New York, October 13 – A Jewish vocal group of preadolescent youth whose material proved an inexplicable hit on social media over the last month turned down an ...
Read More »Heckling Of Jewish Stand-Up Comedian In Nebraska Somehow Fails To Free Palestine
“What happens after that is, I think, that everyone realizes the justice of the Palestine cause and how it supersedes anything they might have been trying to do, just because I’m so loud and vehement.” Omaha, October 4 – An ...
Read More »UN Sorry It Didn’t Get Chance To Establish Agency Just For Martha’s Vineyard Deportees
“Unfortunately, we were unable to act swiftly enough to set up a new agency with a similar mandate to that of UNRWA.” New York, October 3 – Delegates to the world’s largest international organization working toward cooperation among states voiced ...
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