“Ten times the number most of the other shuls in the area get.”
Jerusalem, January 9 – A man who leads Sabbath daytime services with some frequency at a local synagogue has convinced himself that the reason for robust attendance involves his vocal musical prowess, and not, for example, the fact that his house of worship boasts the finest post-services spread in the city, neighborhood sources reported today.
Dan Feuerman, 55, disclosed to confidants this morning for approximately the eightieth time that he takes great pride in the music and execution that he brings to his cantorial performances at synagogue, and that the Tehillah LeDavid synagogue’s success in attracting a large crowd even as others in the area still struggle to recover their pre-COVID numbers owes to his chazzanut. His diagnosis of the situation neglected Tehillah LeDavid’s kiddush, a lavish buffet featuring salads, stew, kugel, fish, and pastries, plus several types of whisky.
“I like to think my davening has something to do with our success,” he stated in an exaggerated undertone. “Just this past week at the kiddush – it was a lovely kiddush – there were no fewer than two hundred people. That’s ten times the number most of the other shuls in the area get. Many of them struggle every week just to get a minyan [on ten men].”
“At least I’m sure that’s what they were saying,” he added. “It’s hard to understand exactly what people are saying with their mouths full of food. But still, I’m pretty confident they were talking about my chazzanut.”
Feuerman has served as one of the principal leaders of the services for more than fourteen years, following a political issue among the membership that saw many of the capable chazzanim depart with the then-Rabbi, who resigned when his aims for organizational change failed – in large part because Feuer rallied the synagogue board against any agenda that might reduce his prominence in synagogue affairs. As a longtime gabbai, or sexton, he has since asserted an even more dominant position, arrogating for himself the frequent role of chazzan and maintaining a narrow vision of the Tehillah LeDavid “style,” a vision that conveniently disqualifies anyone new from entering the chazzan rotation.
During services when someone else serves as chazzan, Feuerman makes sure nevertheless to assert himself, often standing near the chazzan and singing louder than the man leading the services. He believes this also endears people to the synagogue, since the main purpose of attending in the first place, Feuerman reasons, must be to hear him.
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