China Mulls Mass Conversion To Judaism To Bolster Banking Prowess

The report documents the financial advantages of Jewishness via extensive citations from the scholarly work The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion.

Beijing, August 30 – China’s turbulent economic fortunes have the country’s leadership considering a new economic policy that involves making the whole nation Jewish in order to optimize their banking capabilities.

Inflation, the aftereffects of a real estate bubble, currency instability, export pressures, debt, and other concerns have the Chinese Politburo worried that if they do not negotiate current perilous economic situation adeptly, the country will face economic collapse that will lead to widespread deprivation and social unrest. To forestall such a development, President Xi Jinping ordered the country’s political and economic leadership to explore measures aimed at augmenting the nation’s skills in the financial sector, including, if necessary, the adoption of Judaism, which has historically been associated with international banking prowess.

In March Xi had the Politburo commission a study of methods to better prepare the China’s economic stewards for their positions, positions that, in a system rife with cronyism and political horse-trading, were not necessarily secured through reputation. The result was a 450-page document published last week, discussing the avenues by which China might achieve better control over its economy, and minimize negative repercussions from events occurring beyond its borders. The report’s chief recommendation involved the adoption of the Jewish faith by at least the economic leadership figures, if not the entire population.

In addition to the clear economic and financial advantages of being Jewish, as the report documents in extensive citations from the scholarly work The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion, the Communist country would not have to defy its Marxist distaste for religion to an intolerable degree, the report notes, citing the myriad prominent Jews who, while claiming membership in the tribe, observe little in the way of religious ritual and openly profess agnosticism or outright atheism.

China’s emerging interest in Judaism echoes a smaller phenomenon in nearby South Korea, where a translation of some stories from the Talmud became a bestseller in the wake of a cultural perception that the classical Jewish sources are the root of Jews’ disproportionate achievements. In contrast to the Korean instance, however, in China the pursuit of Jewishness, if adopted, will constitute a top-down policy and not a grassroots cultural development.

Important challenges will confront the political leadership if the conversion policy is implemented, most troublesome of which is the Muslim Uighur minority in the Xinjiang area. The Uighurs already resent Beijing’s efforts to regulate religious expression, and some Uighurs have resorted to terrorism as a result. The 300,000-strong Uighur population is unlikely to take kindly to any attempt to impose some other faith.

(h/t Judge Dan)