Clinton Wonders Why Labor Pols Can’t Just Delete Antisemitic Evidence

“Obviously, the most prudent political course involves not expressing certain things at all – it’s best not to have any actual personal convictions other than ‘say what will get you elected’.”

Chappaqua, NY, April 10 – The frontrunner for the Democratic Party presidential nomination expressed puzzlement today at continued revelations of antisemitism among British Labor Party politicians, specifically asking aides to explain why those party officials didn’t just delete the problematic tweets.

In response to yet another Labor Party figure who posted anti-Jewish sentiments on social media – this time a woman who praised Hitler – Hillary Clinton added the voice of her experience to the public sphere, citing the precautions that she would take if there were incriminating digital evidence that could prove politically damaging. In particular, the former First Lady, Secretary of State, and New York Senator suggested that removing such evidence from the server where it resides should more than suffice to prevent incrimination.

“I understand they suspended her from the party – she could have avoided that by using a private server and selectively deleting files,” said Clinton of former UK Labor Councillor Aysegul Gurbuz. “Obviously, the most prudent political course involves not expressing certain things at all – it’s best not to have any actual personal convictions other than ‘say what will get you elected’ – but we all mess up, and in case you mess up, the intelligent thing to do is to delete the evidence of that mess-up.”

“She could, of course, accuse the people who exposed her antisemitic tweets of taking part in a vast right-wing conspiracy, but that’s so 1990’s,” continued the candidate. “But at this point it’s pretty clear she’s got to lay low, politically, and wait a few years before insinuating herself back onto the political scene and claim to have been involved in important policies two decades prior when in fact she held no formal position at all. You know, just an idea I saw somewhere.”

As for the Labor Party in general, Ms. Clinton noted that in addition to purging its ranks and records of open antisemitism, the organization would do well to reshape itself to fit what the electorate wants. “I’ll be the first to admit that not all the current Democratic policies have been a rousing success,” she explained, “even though they’ve been ideologically sound. At a certain point you have to decide that ideology only takes you so far, and naked thirst for power is really what matters.”

Ms. Clinton’s concluding remarks involved a set of instructions to aides on how to preserve plausible deniability when deleting her remarks in this article from the server.